A Better Life - Part 1

Today, I'm taking it easy and trusting God. My mom is here helping do some things around the house. So, what better way to take it easy than to blog!

I was searching around my normal stops this morning... facebook, twitter, gmail.. and I read something that hit a place in my heart...

I read of a young mother who was thankful for the opportunity to go to college and make a better life for her family. And while I can understand what she's saying, it just hurt a bit.

It seems that we as a society seem to think a college degree, a successful career and money as the ingredients to 'a better life'. But where does this ideology come from? Is it biblical? I don't think so.

I'm just concerned that these days full time motherhood isn't even considered as noble or even an option. So often even before we think about marriage and a family we set ourselves up with a lifestyle that isn't compatible with a single income family. Then when children come along, rather than sacrifice, we just continue in the rat race to keep up with our lifestyle. It's even affected our decision to 'be fruitful and multiply'. I was listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss this week and the topic was children. They were talking about how Christians today are having less and less children. And this is effecting so many things.. socially and spiritually in the world we live in. We aren't fulfilling God's call and one of the top reasons is affordability. I was just baffled and saddened.

Is a better life really being away from our family 8-10 hours a day? Does having an abundance of nice things equal a better life?

I don't want to come across as ungracious. I am fully aware that often families have certain circumstances that keep them from this. But I'm also burdened that so many who have the option (and most do) don't seek out God's direction. And I fear it's because maybe they know what God would want, what God would have for them and their family. But maybe they aren't willing to follow so it's left ignored and not prayed about. The result: families aren't what they could be.

So, I'm praying that God will turn our hearts back to Him... back to following His heart for our families.

Stay tuned for Part 2. I want to share my struggles with being at home, even though the Hubs and I decided I would stay at home before we had children. There is often a battle in my mind between what God wants and the world's pull.

Raising Homemakers

So, most of you know I don't have any little girls running around my house! Two precious little boys live here and I LOVE it. Who knows if or when God may bless me with a little girl but if He chooses to just give me boys, I'll be just as happy! But for those of you who do have sweet little girls, I have a great blog to share with you!




Here is a little excerpt about the site, written by the founder Sarah Mae:

RaisingHomemakers.com was born out of a desire to grow, learn, and be encouraged by women who were living out Titus 2 and who were managing their homes well for the glory of God.
This space is for you and me to journey together in learning how to teach and train our daughters in the homemaking arts to the glory of God…and to re-train ourselves! We are extremely blessed to have wise, older women willing to give their time to teach us what they’ve learned and to encourage us in the way. I am grateful some of them are writers here.
I hope Raising Homemakers will be of help to you…it is my prayer that we would all continue on in knowledge, skill, and love. Thank you for walking the narrow path.

And actually, you don't have to even have little girls! Because it's a great source of knowledge, wisdom and practical advice for any woman of any age!

I think that in so many ways homemaking is a lost art. It's one that I'm continuing to learn! They cover all kinds of topics like cooking (look at these pumpkin pancakes), hospitality, how to stock a pantry, saving money, sewing skills (mine are limited to buttons only!), training your daughters to be godly women and seeking God as a mother.

There are several writers who are not married with children but are single and pursuing homemaking. What a noble and God honoring idea! (and why is that not the norm?!)

I definitely think you should check it out!

And if you do, start here. This is a post by one of the writers of the blog. There is a precious video of her sweet 5 year old daughter making a simple meal! It is the sweetest thing!

I'm praying those sweet little boys I have will one day find a woman who has been nurtured and trained to honor God by serving her family in the home!!

No place I'd rather be...

I just finished rocking my sweet little boy to sleep. As I ran my fingers through his sunscreen soaked hair and kissed his little ketchup stained face I thought to myself..

"I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world"

There is no bank account big enough to draw me away from raising my boys. I wouldn't trade it for a car upgrade, a house upgrade, a wardrobe upgrade. Those little faces are my purpose. I could fear when things are tight. I could worry and fret. But God has called me here. And I trust Him.

There is no other place I'd rather be.

Proverbs 14:1 - "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."

I'm over it.

I'm so ready to wean Eli. It has nothing to do with his age (he's 16mths). I'm just over it. He still gets up once a night, most nights, to nurse. He nurses before his nap and before bedtime. I honestly wouldn't mind nursing him if he was sleeping all night and if it didn't take him FOREVER to go to sleep. He use to be out in a matter of 15-20 minutes. But it's getting increasingly longer. Do you know how long it took me to get him to sleep last night?? Two and a half hours. And I nursed him most of those hours.

I am a big believer that children need to learn to sleep on their own, but I think that a parent has to discern when that time is right. And I'm just not sure Eli is ready... especially since he is so attached to my.. I mean HIS 'night, night'. Luke started sleeping through the night when he was around 8-9 months old. I was still rocking him to sleep and it started taking me 45 minutes to an hour to get him to sleep before nap and bedtime. So, at around 10 months we decided to try to let him cry and see how he handled it. The first night he cried for about 15 minutes (I went in and reassured him that I was there twice before he got quiet) and the second night he cried about the same. By night three and four he was crying 5-10 minutes and at the end of the week it was a whimper at best. After that Luke has always went to bed perfectly and slept all night.

Eli is already a much different story... (in many different ways.. I just fished a piece of chalk out of his mouth and Luke never ate things that weren't food!).

At this stage for me the more he nurses the more annoyed and frustrated I get. I'm just ready for it to be over but I want him to be ready to! After about hour one last night I laid Eli in his bed and said, "I love you but it's time to go to bed." (Don't dare say, "it's time for night night".. since that's what he calls nursing! He came up with that name himself too!). Then he cried.. and I'm talking screaming, mad, crying! He's screaming, "Mommuuuu... Night, night!!!" over and over. But number one, I needed a break and number two, I needed to go to the bathroom! I got in the bed and whined to the Hubs for a few minutes and then went back for round two. I attempted to comfort him, rock him, hold him without nursing him... all the while he's crying, saying 'night night' over and over.. so I finally just give in. By this time I think he was just so overtired that he couldn't go back to sleep easily. So, it took me another good hour to lay him down.. with crying on and off and nursing on and off. It was horrible. I just know I can't do that anymore. It was midnight when I got in bed. And then he was up at 6am.. wanting to nurse again. So, I did and thankfully it only took about 20 minutes to get him back to sleep and he slept until 8. Hopefully he'll take a good nap today.

I honestly don't know what to do but I'm praying. God knows I'm ready to wean him. (I may have told him a few times last night!!) But I'm praying that Eli be ready too. And I'm willing to continue nursing him until he can better understand. And if that's the case, I just pray that we can fix how long it takes me to get him to sleep. I am one worn out Mommy.

To anyone who read this.. thanks for letting me vent. And if you have any advice, I'm all ears. To anyone who wants to offer "16 months is too old to be nursing anyway" or "I can't believe you would let your baby cry".. just keep that to yourself! Please and thank you!

(I added that last part because this post will show up on facebook and well, we all know people like to give their honest opinion of fb!)

I am a mommy.

Someone asked me yesterday if I had thought about going back to work.

I just smiled and said no. And then they said, "Well, I'm sure taking care of the boys is work enough." Yes, it is.

After this question, I felt the need (as I always do) to explain myself. But this time I didn't. In the past I have said things like, "Well, it wouldn't be worth it for me to work. Any job I got would barely pay me enough to put Luke/both boys in day care." But this time I decided to just not explain myself.

I often wonder what people think about me concerning this. My husband gets fired and we have to move in with my parents and I continue to stay with my children. We (the Hubs and I) even talked about the possibility of me working. If needed, I would have worked in a heartbeat. Although, because of the reason above, it would have to have been somewhere I could have worked with the boys being with me. And that would be near impossible anywhere other than a child care facility. I've never felt that God was leading me to work and thankfully, my parents have continued to support us almost totally (besides 3 bills that we have continued to pay on our own), which has kept me with my babies. I pray every day that God will bless my parents abundantly because of their generosity toward us.

Now, let me be a little open with you, if I may. There are times when I feel like what I do is not flashy, fancy or of any interest to anyone. I've sat in circles of women before where jobs and positions others have are discussed and felt like I wanted to sink into the background. I don't have a big, exciting title to share when someone asks what I do. I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation and I feel almost embarrassed and uneducated. When you say, "I stay home." No one really inquires further. There's nothing more exciting to talk about. Maybe part of this stems from me not finishing college, considering that is such a status symbol for some people. But there is a reason why I didn't finish. I knew God's plan for my life was to raise my children. If that is His plan and I am certain of that plan, why waste my parents money (they were obviously going to need it later, haha!). I know in my heart that what I do carries more responsibility than any job, but for some reason I often don't feel confident about it when I'm sharing it with others. And that really is silly, because I know that I'm doing what is right in God's eyes. And that is all that matters.

I know some people don't understand the value of a stay home mom. I know that there are a lot of misconceptions of moms who decide to stay home. What in the world could you possibly do all day long? That question makes me laugh. I am a nurse, a counselor, a cook, a janitor, a teacher (and will literally be 'teacher/mom' when Luke starts school) and the list goes on.. Yes, I do play all of those roles. But the most important one of all is just being their mother. I get to feed my babies breakfast, lunch and dinner. I get to dance and sing with Luke when Curious George comes on at 2pm. I get to hold my baby and rock him to sleep for his morning and afternoon nap. I get to help Luke build his train track any time he wants to play with Thomas. I get to watch Eli explore the new territory that comes with being able to crawl. I see every first. I kiss every forehead that feels warm and every booboo that hurts. I hear every giggle and every cry. I wipe every nose and every tear. I am their mommy. I am blessed beyond measure, every moment I spend with my children.

What is most important about my job? God has called me to it. I am a mother, a mother of two beautiful little boys. And my job, my career, my purpose is to raise my children to the glory of God. So, my job is to train my children up, as it says in Proverbs. Oh, I fail so often and I plead with God to help me do a better job. In fact, I cannot do the job at all. Only through Christ can I, along with my husband, raise our boys. And even more important than teaching them their colors or the alphabet is to teach them the gospel. The whole gospel. When God saved me, my desire became His desires. And as His, my most important place is right here in my home.

So, no more excuses. God called me to be a mother, and I'm fulfilling that call.

Thoughts from last week...

So, have I gathered my thoughts?? Not really! I honestly haven't had much time to gather my thoughts! But c'mon!!!! I am due in less than 4 weeks... can you blame me?? Seriously though, I would like to talk about this past week.

I mentioned earlier that I was so encouraged last week and I was. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to meet people who are likeminded in their beliefs and are (to put it plainly) firmly planted in true biblical doctrine. It just blesses me so much! My heart and soul crave to be around people like that. (and btw, God has greatly blessed the Hubs and I with a new circle of friends who believe the same and desire to spur one another on in His Word)

The evangelist we had at church last week was Don Currin. We were blessed to also have his wife there with him. I was able to have many conversations with her after the services. She gave me great godly council, especially in the areas of mothering and being a wife/homemaker. The affirmation and encouragement that she gave me is something that I am so thankful for. Not that I ever had any doubt that what I do is God's will and I definitely do not need anyone else to give me any direction, except for God, but I know that God sends people into our lives to affirm His perfect will. The Hubs and I may not always rear our children the way that the rest of the world chooses. Even in the church I have had comments made to me about education being a 'good field for young women' to go into, after being told that I did not work outside of the home. (As if devoting all my time to educating and raising the children God has given me is not worthy enough.) So, even in the church (and when I say church I mean as in members of a particular congregation, not the church which is the Bride of Christ... I think we often confuse the two but they are VERY different things!! But that is another post!) remarks are made about a woman's desire to stay home. So, needless to say the godly council and encouragement that I got this past week was so very refreshing.

And whether or not I was working or non-working has nothing to do with the biblical foundation that her advice was given on. Her advice was applicable to any wife/mother who has a desire to follow God. During one of our conversations we talked about the lack of older/wiser women mentoring younger women. Like I said earlier, I enjoyed so much the time that I had to talk with her and wish that I had that godly council all the time. It is definitely scarce in our churches today. Older women are not living out the commands in Titus 2. And I have to ask the question, why? Is it because they are not grounded in God's Word enough to disciple and mentor younger women? I think that has a great deal to do with it. Is it because many women don't see being the heart of the home the most important thing? Is being a godly wife and mother not the greatest task given by God to a woman? I can look to the world to teach me how to be successful outside of the home.. how to make lots of money, dress fashionably, etc. But what about diciplining my children, being submissive to my husband's leadership, being a woman of prayer, making my home a place of peace and comfort for my family all according to God's Word? I guess, after being able to talk to Mrs. Currin this week, my eyes were opened to the lack of mentoring between older & younger women in the church. I was given one bit of advice from her concerning this subject though. She said, there are always women younger than you. I have the ability to 'mentor', in some way, the women in our church who are younger than me. I can do my part. And my prayer is that I can honor God and be an encouragement to someone by doing that.

More thoughts later...

My little sponge... and the Wall O' Diapers

I thought I'd sit down and share a little bit about my sweet Luke! He's spending the morning with his Mimi and Grandaddy and the house is just not the same with him here! You hear all of the stories of the 'terrible twos' and I am beginning to understand that that means. Don't get me wrong, he is a sweet, precious little boy but I can see him attempting to assert himself and be independent. That desire to be independent usually comes out in tantrums and lots of, "No Ma'ams!" (and even the occasional attempt at hitting!!!) At the end of the day though he still loves for Mommy to rock him and I love it too! I know it will soon be a thing of the past!

He is like a little sponge... soaking everything and I mean everything up! One day last week The Hubby and I were riding into town with Luke. We were just driving along, listening to the radio. All of a sudden Luke starts saying, "phone ring, phone ring". I said, "No, the phone's not ringing." Well, he continued to do it and Hubby and I kind of looked at each other a few times, like "What is he talking about??" All of a sudden Hubs says, "Hey, didn't that song use to be your ring tone??" AHH, yes it did!!! Luke heard the song (Made to Love You, by Toby Mac) and knew that it was my phone's ring!! So he was trying to tell me that my phone was ringing! How funny!!!! He is very observant! He knew exactly what he was talking about and we were the ones who didn't have a clue!!

In the past I've talked a lot about our issues with food. Well, (and hopefully this won't jinx us!) here lately we have made leaps and bounds in that area. He has developed quite an appetite and has expanded some of his eating habits. He is now eating PB with jelly (all fruit preserves). Before, he would MAYBE eat a PB sandwich.. and at the most a few bites but just this week he had 2 halves of PB sandwiches, one which had strawberry preserves on it. He ate the crust and all!!! Monday night we had one of those skillet meals (Garlic Chicken, I think) and I added extra frozen broccoli and peas to it and Luke had 2 helpings! And he ate everything where before he might have picked out a piece of broccoli or two and a handful of peas. Also for the first time this week he ate a whole helping of corn (off the cob, when before he's only eaten it on the cobb). I think it helped that I told him it came from Granddaddy's garden! It has been really exciting to see him eat all of these new things and in such large amounts! It may seem strange for someone to think that this is all exciting to me, but if you ever have a picky toddler... you will understand! I really think that being consistent with him has helped. I was talking with a friend this week about that. I think it's very important that Luke knows that he has to eat what's on his plate because that's what Mommy cooked. If you don't want it, you don't have to eat it. But you don't get anything else either! (Don't worry, I don't starve my child, we always have something that he WILL eat, even if it's a roll or a piece of toast!) I've also been limiting his snacks to pretty much fruit or dairy (cheese and yogurt). I think keeping him away from carb type snacks have helped his appetite at meal times. Occasionally, he will get crackers of some kind but I keep it very small servings because I think he was filling up on snacks like that. I reserve snacks like goldfish or teddy grahams for when we are out and about since yogurt and fruit tend to be a little messy!!! One of his new favorites are baby carrots and ranch dressing. He pretty much has that every day at lunch with whatever else he's having! One day this week I baked him some french fries and at the end of the meal he ate every carrot and left about 3 or 4 fries on his plate!

One more little thing about him that just melts my heart... he's become very good at saying "thank you" when he's given something (especially if it's food). So when I serve him his meal or even a snack, he says, "Thank You, Mommy" in the sweetest little voice you've ever heard! Moments like those make all of those temper tantrums fade away!

I'm a very proud Mommy! :)

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This past Sunday, I had a Diaper and Wipes Shower at church. Let me just show you a picture....

What a HUGE blessing! Oh, and that's The Hubs on the floor. He thought laying in the floor was a good idea for the photo.. !? (You know I love you!)

Have a fantastic weekend... I've got to figure out how to fit all of these diapers in the closet!

Balancing Act

Before I even begin, I must say that this particular post is more for myself. So just let me talk to myself for a while! :)

I am not perfect....

Nor will I ever be.

Sometimes I try.

I want to make the bed every morning. I want to have an empty sink. I would love for my floors to always be crumb free. It would be lovely if all of my junk mail never made it's way to the basket on my kitchen counter.. I mean how hard is it to just throw that stuff away? Isn't that basket suppose to be for fruit anyway? It would also be lovely if those freshly dried towels didn't sit on the couch a few days before being put away. Ok, so maybe I let them sit in the dryer... just so they aren't on the couch. Wouldn't it be nice if that box of clothes that I've been in the process of putting away for storage would magically put itself away, instead of sitting in Luke's floor for the past week? I would love for everything in my home to be organized and always put back in it's place (or for it to actually have a place) but in reality, even if someone organized my house they would have to move in with me to keep it that way.

In honesty, the weeks that these things (you know, the cleaning and constantly putting away and what not) happen, all at the same time, I am exhausted. Literally worn out. I truly love the way it feels to have a clean house. But that feeling is just not motivation enough to make me work like crazy and be exhausted every night (pregnant or not). I just can't do it all. Like Lisa said, "cleaning house from daylight to dark is just not fun", at least not for me. I guess some people enjoy it. (To those of you who do, BLAH to you... just kidding, of course) I am not one of those people.

Now for some more honesty: If you come over to my house and I know it and I have enough time to clean like a crazy lady, you will find a spotless house. I just want to confess that my house doesn't always look that way. I don't want to appear to have it all together... because I don't. If you could see the mess that surrounds this computer you would know what I mean (and if I was brave enough I'd post a picture and show you.. but I'm not). Lisa also said, "There is much ministry in truth-telling" and I couldn't agree more. Her post motivated me to write this by the way.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not a slob, not always anyways! ;) I do try to keep the house tidy. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. I just want to be real. I know that part of my job as a wife and a mother is to make our home a safe haven and I desire for God to continue to grow me in that area. Thinking about the story of Mary and Martha though, sometimes it's just best to sit at Jesus' feet... or sit in the floor and read Luke a book. I can't tell you how many times that little sweet boy has tugged on my pants leg while I was washing dishes and asked me to read him a book. I know that I can't always drop everything for him, he needs to know that sometimes I have to do other things. As a mother though, he is my greatest priority and responsibility. In the same sense my husband needs to know that I am his biggest supporter and sometimes that may mean making sure he has clean underwear but other times that may mean just stopping what I'm doing to verbally be his encourager.

It's a balancing act... one that I'm not quite sure I'm very good at! It's a continual prayer for me.

Lord, help me to be the mother and wife You've called me to be....

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm about to head to the couch.. or bed. I think R's already taken the couch! I need a nap! :) We had a massive storm come through last night so I didn't sleep much, nor did anyone else in my house!

I just had to stop in for a minute to share with you my Mother's Day present!

I love it so much! What sweet little hands and feet... that are getting bigger and bigger by the minute! I can't believe that he's almost 2!!

And now instead of writing something sappy and emotional about being a mother to the best little boy in the world, I'm going to go rest! Eli and I need a nap!

I hope you have a blessed Sunday!

Crazy, Busy and Exhausted!

Whew!

It's been a crazy, busy week so far! We're having a Bible Conference this week, actually the last night was tonight, so that has made the week busier (but great at the same time!). I had to miss tonight because Luke has a yucky nose... not to mention that he MUST go to sleep earlier tonight.
My child is a child who loves routine. Seriously, his whole world is thrown off kilter if something is different... especially at night. The past 2 nights we've ate supper earlier (by about an hour) and gotten home late. So late that he didn't get his movie or bath. You see, almost every night at 7:30pm the lights are down and he watches a movie (usually a Veggie Tales) while sipping his milk. At 8pm the bath is ready and he plays a little in the bath. His teeth are brushed, he's lotioned down, pj's on, daddy reads a story and then mommy rocks him to "Jesus Loves Me' twice (yep, only twice). Then he's laid in his crib and usually drifts off to sleep peacefully! BUT when the routine is off... there is no peace.

Monday night wasn't that bad... although he didn't go to sleep until around 11pm he did sleep through the night. He was in the bed around 9 but was so wound up & exhausted at the same time he didn't get quiet until about 11. But last night was the kicker! He was put in bed around 9:30pm, no movie, no bath... Around 10:30 he was screaming his head off. So I went in and rocked him for a little while and he drifted off to sleep. R and I got in bed a little later and around 12am I heard him waking up...then by 1am he started screaming again. I usually don't put him in the bed with us but I knew it was gonna be one of those nights. He was asleep within 10 minutes. R slept through that whole ordeal... and I layed there... listening to Luke snore. I knew that on top of his whole world being thrown off balance by the no-routine, the stuffy nose that had just developed wasn't helping either! So I layed there.. and tried to sleep but it was hopeless. So, since Luke was out I picked him up around 1:30am and layed him in his bed. Ahh.. sleep at last.. until 3am, when he woke up AGAIN! I went and got him again, but this time he was fighting his sleep so bad.. I mean kicking, tossing & turning.. Everytime he'd start to rub his eyes or lay his head down he'd start kicking and flinging those arms... needless to say R couldnt even sleep through that. I gave him some ibuprophen because I thought maybe his teeth had been bothering him... considering that he has constantly had his fingers in his mouth the past few days. By 4:15am, I'd had it. I was at my limit. This pregnant lady needed sleep! So I looked that little sweet boy in the face and said in my sternest voice, "Luke, it's time to go to bed. You're a big boy and can sleep in your own bed. It's time for night-night." I picked him up, kissed his cheek, took him to his room, layed him down, said "I love you"... and didn't hear a peep from him until 9am! I honestly think that he was at his limit too and just gave up!
So, after all of that I don't really have to tell you that I didn't sleep well last night. I might have gotten 4 hours of broken sleep. I just don't sleep well when he's up and down like that. Oh, and of course R's alarm clock going off at 7am... then 7:15am.. didn't help the sleep cycle either. Oh but tonight.. we had the routine down! And my sweet love was in the bed at 8:40pm and it's 10:30pm at the moment... and I haven't heard a peep. I'm heading off to dream land in a minute too. I just needed to share I guess. :) I know there are lots of mothers out there who have been there... these times are fleeting, I know.. and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

I so want to share some of my journey reading Isaiah. I just started chapter 5. Maybe tomorrow. It's late.. and I'm tired!

Night!