Monday, April 6, 2009

I am a mommy.

Someone asked me yesterday if I had thought about going back to work.

I just smiled and said no. And then they said, "Well, I'm sure taking care of the boys is work enough." Yes, it is.

After this question, I felt the need (as I always do) to explain myself. But this time I didn't. In the past I have said things like, "Well, it wouldn't be worth it for me to work. Any job I got would barely pay me enough to put Luke/both boys in day care." But this time I decided to just not explain myself.

I often wonder what people think about me concerning this. My husband gets fired and we have to move in with my parents and I continue to stay with my children. We (the Hubs and I) even talked about the possibility of me working. If needed, I would have worked in a heartbeat. Although, because of the reason above, it would have to have been somewhere I could have worked with the boys being with me. And that would be near impossible anywhere other than a child care facility. I've never felt that God was leading me to work and thankfully, my parents have continued to support us almost totally (besides 3 bills that we have continued to pay on our own), which has kept me with my babies. I pray every day that God will bless my parents abundantly because of their generosity toward us.

Now, let me be a little open with you, if I may. There are times when I feel like what I do is not flashy, fancy or of any interest to anyone. I've sat in circles of women before where jobs and positions others have are discussed and felt like I wanted to sink into the background. I don't have a big, exciting title to share when someone asks what I do. I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation and I feel almost embarrassed and uneducated. When you say, "I stay home." No one really inquires further. There's nothing more exciting to talk about. Maybe part of this stems from me not finishing college, considering that is such a status symbol for some people. But there is a reason why I didn't finish. I knew God's plan for my life was to raise my children. If that is His plan and I am certain of that plan, why waste my parents money (they were obviously going to need it later, haha!). I know in my heart that what I do carries more responsibility than any job, but for some reason I often don't feel confident about it when I'm sharing it with others. And that really is silly, because I know that I'm doing what is right in God's eyes. And that is all that matters.

I know some people don't understand the value of a stay home mom. I know that there are a lot of misconceptions of moms who decide to stay home. What in the world could you possibly do all day long? That question makes me laugh. I am a nurse, a counselor, a cook, a janitor, a teacher (and will literally be 'teacher/mom' when Luke starts school) and the list goes on.. Yes, I do play all of those roles. But the most important one of all is just being their mother. I get to feed my babies breakfast, lunch and dinner. I get to dance and sing with Luke when Curious George comes on at 2pm. I get to hold my baby and rock him to sleep for his morning and afternoon nap. I get to help Luke build his train track any time he wants to play with Thomas. I get to watch Eli explore the new territory that comes with being able to crawl. I see every first. I kiss every forehead that feels warm and every booboo that hurts. I hear every giggle and every cry. I wipe every nose and every tear. I am their mommy. I am blessed beyond measure, every moment I spend with my children.

What is most important about my job? God has called me to it. I am a mother, a mother of two beautiful little boys. And my job, my career, my purpose is to raise my children to the glory of God. So, my job is to train my children up, as it says in Proverbs. Oh, I fail so often and I plead with God to help me do a better job. In fact, I cannot do the job at all. Only through Christ can I, along with my husband, raise our boys. And even more important than teaching them their colors or the alphabet is to teach them the gospel. The whole gospel. When God saved me, my desire became His desires. And as His, my most important place is right here in my home.

So, no more excuses. God called me to be a mother, and I'm fulfilling that call.


Aimee said...

Amen, Amen, Amen..did I say Amen?

There is nothing I would rather be doing than being a mother to my children.

thanks for sharing your heart.

Anonymous said...

AMEN! Although I do go to school, I love being able to stay home with Wes and Will!

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

Amen and amen!!!! Don't ever let anyone else make you feel like you need to explain why you stay home. You are being obedient to God, and fulfilling one of the most important roles of your life. Your children will rise up and call you blessed!


Molly Flanagan said...

well said! :-)

Jessica said...

Thank you so much for sharing your heart Crystal...

There is absolutely nothing better than being home with my children.