Sunday, May 31, 2009


The second half of last week was a doozy! Here's a recap, that might turn into a novel... :

Thursday: Eli fell down the stairs. Went to the ER. Had a Cat Scan. He's fine.

Ok, so I can't just recap that! It was almost nap time for Eli, which can be anywhere from 10:30-11:30am. I was checking my email (grr, I'll talk about that in a minute) and the boys were playing. All of a sudden I hear something falling down the stairs. My first instinct was not that it was my child. I thought that Luke had probably gone upstairs and was rolling a toy down the stairs. -Let me interject here and say that we had a barrier up so that Eli couldn't (or so we thought) get up the stairs. Our traditional baby gate would not fit there so we had a pretty good (or so we thought) barrier up. We had tested it and Eli didn't seem to be able to get up the stairs. Can I also just chime in and say that when this happened he was one day shy of being 9 months old! Seriously. - So, I look up from the computer to see what Luke is throwing down the stairs and I see my baby land! I cannot tell you what that felt like because words cannot describe it! It was horrible! I grabbed him up and ran outside and started yelling for the Hubs (who was out blowing up Luke's new pool). He ran in and we began to look Eli over and calm him down at the same time. He was screaming, which I was thankful for, to be honest. After he calmed down, he seemed perfectly fine. He had one small bump on his head but other than that was acting completely normal. We both agreed though that to be on the safe side we wanted to get him checked out. I had not showered (it was one of those days) so Luke stayed with me and the Hubs called his dad to come and ride with him to the ER. We wanted to keep him awake and since it was nap time I knew that if someone wasn't in the back with him he would be asleep in no time. Oh... while we were waiting on the Hub's dad, I asked Luke what happened. He said, "I pushed him." Gasp! Yes, he pushed his brother down the stairs. I also wanted to know where Eli had fallen from so I asked Luke to walk to the step that Eli was on and he walked to the TOP step (there are 12!!!). They are carpeted but the floor at the bottom is hardwood. Since I had seen Eli land I knew that he had not hit his head directly on the floor, which is a blessing. Well, we had to deal with the whole Luke pushing Eli down the stairs later. I don't think he was doing it out of pure meanness* (is that a word??) although Luke does like to pull Eli's legs and slide him across the hardwood.. and I've caught him a few times trying to ride Eli like a horse. I know that Luke did not know how much danger he was putting his brother in by pushing him! But I knew that we needed to have a talk later! So, I got a quick shower (chock full of prayer for my little man, repentance for being at this stupid computer and just crying from the shock of it all!) So, I got to the hospital about 30 min later and they had just taken Eli back. The Dr checked him over and said that everything on the outside looked fine but they wanted to do a cat scan. So, we waited and then they put my sweet little angel on that big ol' machine. He was pitiful because if you know my Eli, you know he does not like to stay still. It didn't take long though and he was unstrapped and back in my arms! About 15 minutes later, the Dr came in and said that he had a few bumps on the outside of his skull but everything on the inside was fine. He said, "He's one lucky little boy." But I knew that God had protected my baby that day. Luck had nothing to do with it!

God taught me a big lesson that day. I have always tried to limit my computer time during the day. I rarely blog during the day but I do occasionally check my mail or facebook when they are playing. Lame and stupid. I could have prevented what happened if I had been in the same room with my children and not had my face stuck on this computer. I thought they were playing in the den. I was so mad at myself. So mad. I hated this computer that day. Hated it. It was my fault and I knew it. So, I had to repent. And that's what I did that day in the shower. No more computer unless the kids are napping or in Luke's case 'resting' (which is what we call him watching a Thomas or some other type of dvd). I don't think the computer is evil (although, if you'd asked me Thursday, I would have said it was) but it can be. I love to blog and I love to keep up with friends on facebook. I also love to send pictures of the boys to friends and family through email. And theirs also the necessary bill paying and such that I do. But that can all be done when the kids are in bed/napping or the Hubs is playing with the boys. I was wrong. I am thankful for the grace God showed me on that day. He is so good and I am so unworthy!

By the way, we now have a metal gate at the bottom of the stairs that fits very well! :)

Now, here is the summary of the rest of the weekend:

Friday, I woke up feeling HORRIBLE. I had felt like I was getting a cold Thursday but Friday I knew I needed to see the Dr. I get sinus infections often and I knew that's what it was. Luke's 3rd birthday party was Sat. so I didn't want to wait, not to mention that I felt really bad. Even if we wouldn't have been having the party the next day I'm sure I would have went to the Dr anyway. So, sure enough it was a sinus infection. Since I'm nursing there isn't much they could give me. I got an antibiotic and a get well soon. This is my 2nd sinus infection while nursing(had one in Feb) so I knew that it was going to take a while to get over since my Rx options were limited. I prayed all Friday night that I would feel better Saturday so that I could enjoy Luke's party. And I did... or at least I was too busy to really feel bad. Because after the party I felt horrible again! The party was a success though. Luke had so much fun! We had it at Party Central or the "Jumpy Place" as Luke calls it. Luke's room was decorated in Thomas and he had a Thomas cake. He loved all of his presents! When the lady announced over the mic "We all wish Luke a Happy 3rd Birthday" tears came to my eyes. I just wanted to cry!! I was like, Oh my goodness, my baby is almost 3!! (His actual birthday is June 5th or 'fif June' as Luke likes to call it). I still can't really believe it.

I stayed home from church this morning. Partly because I still feel bad.. and partly because I look like Rudolph. I do feel better this evening though. Tonight I can breath through my nose pretty good. And that's a great feeling considering that the past two nights I couldn't at all. So, there's what's been going on around here.. sorry it was so long! :)

Here's one of my favorite pictures from Saturday:

Time to sleep!

*Evidently meanness is a word because spellcheck says so! But doozy isn't! :)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I'm thankful for...

my two beautiful, healthy boys who make me smile every day.

my hard-working, handsome husband who makes me laugh.

my mom and dad who have supported my family, almost entirely, for the past 6 months.

finding a church that is founded on Scripture alone and seeks to glorify God in everything. It truly depicts a biblical sound body of believers.

God's Word that continually reminds me of His promises.

God's Word that continually reminds me how much I need His mercy and grace.

God's Word that continually reminds me that this world is not my home.

A God who specializes in the details, all the while keeping the world and everything in it in balance.

A God who is sovereign and loves me.

A God who has a plan and perfect will for my family.

Sometimes, during stressful or hard times it's important to remember what life is about. It's important to remember that there are so many things to be thankful for. During the past (almost) 7 months, I have had to stop and remind myself of all of the blessings that God has graciously given me. I have enough and God has promised to provide for my needs and my family's needs. I am abundantly blessed! I cannot express what a wonderful God I serve!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Potty Training. I. Hate. It.

So, today we started potty training. Can you tell how much I loved it?? Our main reason that we started potty training now is that the Hubs is home. We're not sure when he'll start work yet, early as Monday as late as.. who knows. I know it would be hard with both boys trying to potty train Luke by myself. So, while he's here at home we're trying to really focus on it.

Part of me still feels that Luke isn't ready. But he is just 2 weeks away from being three, so I feel like maybe he needs a little push. We worked on it today for about 3/4th of the day and then we all needed a break. He had 3 accidents, all just wet, but I really expected that.

Our biggest problem is that he hates sitting on the potty. When we tell him he needs to sit on the potty for a while, he whines, "NOOOooooooo!!". It's just a fight so by about 2pm we were all done. And I'm sure he hasn't learned that 'feeling' you get when you need to go. He would say, "Oh no" or "I need to go potty" after his pants were already wet. He did enjoy wearing his big boy underwear.

The hubs and I were both very encouraging and positive, trying to get him excited about it. It worked in the beginning but wore off quickly. We used M&M's for prizes but one little M&M isn't a big deal to him! So, that wasn't really an incentive! I'm not really sure how to get him excited about it. It's just not a big deal to him!

All I know is that it's hard. I know that one day it will all be over (and then Eli will be next)... but right now, it's hard. I'm praying that it gets easier and he gets the hang of it. And if anyone has any tips, I'll take them. Just don't tell me that your child was potty trained by 18 months or over the course of one day. :)

Tomorrow is a new day!

Friday, May 15, 2009

No, Mr. President-

Amen and amen, Mr. Piper. I wanted to cry as I watched this video. And I wanted to cry when I watched it the second time. But I was with the Hubs and my mom... and it's not that I'm afraid to cry in front of them but the kind of cry that this video makes me want to cry is the ugly, sad kind of cry that you only want to do in private. The kind of cry that you cry when you are so sorrowful over something and you are pleading with God to change it. Oh, God will you change it? Change the heart of our nation, for Your glory.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Fears


That is all.

Haha.. no seriously. The Hubs and I have decided to homeschool Luke and Eli (and any others God gives us!) This statement makes me nervous. I actually get butterflies in my stomach.. not the fluttery ones but the ones that make you want to puke. In the future I'll blog about why we've chosen to homeschool (this is a decision that we've talked about, prayed about over the past few years) but today I just want to share my fears.

Right now at this point in our life things are crazy. And I feel like things will never be not crazy. I know that's not true but some (most) days I feel that way. Truth be told, I use to have a routine. When the Hubs lost his job in December, Eli was only 3 months old. Things were still new at home, we were just getting use to having a second child. Things were still chaotic. Well, throw husband loosing his job into the mix and things were a lot chaotic. Now, lets throw moving in with your parents and uprooting everything.. you get the picture. I'll be honest, we just go with the flow right now. So, here is my point in all of this.. one of my biggest fears in homeschooling is not causing my children to be the dumbest kids on the block... I really have no fears of my children not being socialized or being 'weird' (those are ignorant stereotypes, in my opinion). Besides, I know the weird part is a given.. I mean they are our children! My biggest fear is sticking to a schedule, staying structured. If there is no routine/schedule, then there is no structure. And I know there must be structure. I know that I can overcome this and I know that I will overcome this. I know I have another good 2 years before we really get into school with Luke, although I know my little ones are learning now.. learning doesn't start at some magic age! I've got time to prepare myself mentally, spiritually and emotionally (and any other -ally that applies!).

The fact that educating your children is a HUGE responsibility makes me fearful. Homeschooling is how we feel lead to educate our kids but I still have questions that pop up in the back of my mind... Am I ready for this challenge? Can I do this? How in the world does homeschooling even work? Will I fail my children?? Will others think that I am incapable of this task? Will there be those who are against this choice we've made? Will I have support? (ok, I know the answer to this one! Yay, Grace Fellowship!)

I know God has already equipped me for this. I've just got to pray for Him to give me confidence.

Now, it's time for me to get out the denim jumper and ruffle socks.

Haha.. just kidding.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sleep.. what's that like again??

I have an 8 month old that will not sleep. Let me just explain how most nights go....

Eli goes to sleep sometime around 8:30-9:00pm-ish. I usually nurse him to sleep with no problems. And since I'm a night-owl, I go to bed around 12ish (I'm TRYING to work on that, last night I made it to bed around 11:30pm but after feeding Eli and getting him to sleep it was 12am... ). Eli knows when I get in bed, Remember we are living in my parent's house so he doesn't have his own room. I have moved him from the co sleeper ( 4 nights ago I came into our room and he was sitting up in it!!) to the crib but we're still in the same room. So, he nurses around midnight and then pretty much he's up every 1.5 to 2 hours until around 8am. Seriously. He's EIGHT months old. I might also add that I swaddle him after I nurse him for the night. Sometimes he stays swaddled but most of the time he doesn't after he gets up for the first time. Not only does he get up a thousand times (it seems) he is so restless. He's just a very fidgety. So, if I put him in the bed with me he just squirms and the Hubs and I do not sleep! I'm not against him sleeping with us if he would be still!! Needless to say, I am tired. I am ready to sleep...

I've tried getting him to go back to sleep without nursing him, thinking that maybe he's not really hungry. But I've always felt like I needed to feed him every time he gets up because he's always been so small (nevertheless, it never works... he just cries, so I nurse him). He's a tiny little guy and so I feel like he needs every little drop he gets! Not to mention that he's still not a big eater. He only gets about 2-3 TBS of oatmeal mixed with fruit twice a day and he doesn't even eat all of that sometimes. He eats Cheerio's every once and a while too. Maybe he would eat more during the day if he wasn't nursing so often at night? But when I don't nurse him, he cries, so I just nurse.

Here is how last night went (which, btw, was actually a little better than the previous nights). The Hubs went upstairs around 11:15pm and I was eating a bowl of Cinnamon Pecan Special K (I was starving, ok??) with Silk. He whispered downstairs that Eli was awake so I went upstairs, brushed my teeth and washed my face, while the Hubs rocked him. It was around 11:30 when I got to him. I fed him and rocked him, then reswaddled him and laid him down around midnight. Sometime around 2am, he woke up. I went over to get him out of his crib and he had one arm out and both legs out of the swaddler and he was on his stomach! (Looks like we'll be getting rid of the swaddler soon, too) So, I fed him and then held him. This is when I typically fall asleep. I've always fed him in the bed propped up with pillows. I've never been able to nurse him lying down. Anyway, he usually goes back to sleep while I hold him, cradled. Here lately though, he's wanted to roll over face down on my chest with his head next to my armpit (haha) and his legs hanging off down towards my waist. Basically laying diagonally across me!! Now, that is comfort at it's best! Can you sense the sarcasm?? He's just getting to big to hold and be comfy at the same time. So, I just let him do it... at this point, whatever works. So, I fall asleep and wake up around 3am and he's sound asleep. So, I put him in the crib, just hoping he might stay there for a while. I woke up around 4:30am to him fussing a little. I decided to just see what he would do. Well, I guess I fell back asleep and he did too because a few minutes after 5, I woke up to him screaming. So, I fed him and we both fell asleep until about 7:15am, we then went back to sleep until about 8:30am. I so want to get up around 7am every morning. I do. But I just can't do it. So, if he goes back to sleep, then I go back to sleep. I feel so lazy doing it this way but I need every bit of sleep I can get.

Interjection: I know there are some of you out there saying, well, just go to bed earlier. Like I said, I am working on that. But I might add that anytime I have made it to bed earlier, Eli wakes up when I get in bed and the 1.5-2 hour cycle starts. It seems that whatever time he gets up for that first time, whether it be 10:30pm or 12am, it starts that routine. Not to mention that after the kids get in bed I just need some time to myself and some time with my husband! :)

I'm just at a loss at what to do. I desperately want him to be a good sleeper!!! I just don't know how to get to that point! I'm praying.. and being patient.

I'm not really asking for advice, unless someone out there holds the secret to getting an 8 month old who really likes to nurse and be near momma all night long, to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time (please, oh please let there be someone out there with that secret!)..... I just wanted to vent a little! So, thanks for letting me!

Friday, May 8, 2009


My aunt sent me this video and I just had to share it. It's a huge eye-opener. I think it's a great call for us as Christians to heed God's Word, be fruitful & multiply (Genesis 1:28) and share His gospel. We must heed His Word! This is exactly how prophecy is going to be fulfilled, sooner rather than later unless God's children do something about it!

Be blessed....

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Title?? I have nothing!

I'm seriously lacking in the blogging department. I have lacking motivation as far as the blog goes. My blogging has been on the decline ever since moving in with my parents, for various reasons. I'm praying for normal again someday. All I can say is that this has not been an easy journey.

On a positive, wonderfully fantastic note, the Hubs will soon be starting back to work!!! PRAISE GOD! Our prayer since he was laid off has been that he would get his old position back and God has answered that prayer!!! His start date will either be May 11th or the 22nd. Our prayer now is that God will show us how we can live on that job alone (outside my parents home). In thinking about this, the thought has crossed my mind, 'Was I really meant to stay home??" Because honestly, I've worked the numbers, and it really seems almost impossible. I know the answer to that question though and I know God will provide. I have no idea how or when though and that is the tough part. And as cliche as it sounds, it's true: I serve the God of the impossible.

He is my hope. He is my strength. I will trust in Him.

And now I must go to bed... I will attempt to post an update on the kids soon. And I use the term soon loosely.