That is all.
Haha.. no seriously. The Hubs and I have decided to homeschool Luke and Eli (and any others God gives us!) This statement makes me nervous. I actually get butterflies in my stomach.. not the fluttery ones but the ones that make you want to puke. In the future I'll blog about why we've chosen to homeschool (this is a decision that we've talked about, prayed about over the past few years) but today I just want to share my fears.
Right now at this point in our life things are crazy. And I feel like things will never be not crazy. I know that's not true but some (most) days I feel that way. Truth be told, I use to have a routine. When the Hubs lost his job in December, Eli was only 3 months old. Things were still new at home, we were just getting use to having a second child. Things were still chaotic. Well, throw husband loosing his job into the mix and things were a lot chaotic. Now, lets throw moving in with your parents and uprooting everything.. you get the picture. I'll be honest, we just go with the flow right now. So, here is my point in all of this.. one of my biggest fears in homeschooling is not causing my children to be the dumbest kids on the block... I really have no fears of my children not being socialized or being 'weird' (those are ignorant stereotypes, in my opinion). Besides, I know the weird part is a given.. I mean they are our children! My biggest fear is sticking to a schedule, staying structured. If there is no routine/schedule, then there is no structure. And I know there must be structure. I know that I can overcome this and I know that I will overcome this. I know I have another good 2 years before we really get into school with Luke, although I know my little ones are learning now.. learning doesn't start at some magic age! I've got time to prepare myself mentally, spiritually and emotionally (and any other -ally that applies!).
The fact that educating your children is a HUGE responsibility makes me fearful. Homeschooling is how we feel lead to educate our kids but I still have questions that pop up in the back of my mind... Am I ready for this challenge? Can I do this? How in the world does homeschooling even work? Will I fail my children?? Will others think that I am incapable of this task? Will there be those who are against this choice we've made? Will I have support? (ok, I know the answer to this one! Yay, Grace Fellowship!)
I know God has already equipped me for this. I've just got to pray for Him to give me confidence.
Now, it's time for me to get out the denim jumper and ruffle socks.
Haha.. just kidding.
Thursday, May 14, 2009