This is where I am now...

As we begin to move furniture into the house this week, my mind has taken me back to all that has happened over the past almost nine months. Not that our circumstances haven't always been on my mind but maybe this week they've seemed to be more magnified. I've thought of all that we've been through.. all that has taken place. The good and the bad... and even the ugly.

I think back to that day that the Hubs was fired. I remember everything about that moment. I was washing my face. Eli was sleeping. Luke was playing in the den. The Hubs was wearing a green sweater. Our life as we knew it crumbled. I know that there are greater things that could have impacted us with greater sorrow. But loss of job, income, home, friends, trust all in the same moment is pretty significant.

Last night the Hubs and I spent the evening vacuuming & wiping out cabinets and putting Eli's crib together that he hasn't slept in... ever. On our way back to my parents to get the kids in bed the Hubs asked me if I ever thought about what our lives would be like if we were still there.. if nothing had ever happened. And to be honest I hadn't really thought about it. I pretty much just told him that things would still be as they were in December.. we'd just be in a different season and the kids would be older. Then he told me something that broke my heart. He said, "I really miss preaching." I know he does... And I miss hearing him preach. That is the thing {one of the only} I miss the most. Publix would be a very close second... just kidding. Tears welled in my eyes as we drove the rest of the way home. My heart hurts for my husband.

I'll be brutally honest. I still deal with bitterness and great frustration when I think of the details of the whole ordeal. I pray that God will deliver me from it and I know He will one day. I don't regret anything that we did or have done after the fact. Every letter we wrote or phone call we made was done with prayer and counsel from those whom we respect. I just wanted to state that mainly because there are often times when you look back on your actions and regret doing things in haste or as a result of emotion.

I'm not sure I will ever understand why God allowed it to happen. I know that it was for His glory. And I pray that through these past months and forevermore we will live our lives completely for His glory. I guess I'm saying that I will never understand why it had to happen the way it happened. It was tough and our lives are still marked by what happened emotionally and financially. I'm still so baffled at how we were treated both directly and indirectly. No one has yet, nor can I ever imagine anyone ever giving me a reason that makes sense. And I am a pretty sensible person. All in all what I've determined is that God's plan was for Robby to lose his job but the terms of the ordeal couldn't possibly have been ordained by Him. I just can't line those things up with His Word. I'm trying to be delicate about details but still trying to make my point. As I've said before, I don't mind sharing details because the truth is the truth but not publicly.

What I do know is that God has been faithful. If I can get anything across through this it would be: He is faithful. He blessed us with family to take care of us. He blessed us with an amazing church that is biblically sound & has a pastor with the backbone (or maybe just the fear of the Lord) to preach the true gospel message. He has graciously blessed the Hubs with his old job and that alone is a miracle straight from His hands. He has taken the old details of our life and made them new. They may not seem better by the world's standards but they are His plans. And His plans are always better, no matter what they entail. Admittedly, I am anxious about the future. Things are going to be different for our family but He will take care of us. I am clinging to His promises.


"Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:26b-31

Why??

Me: (as Luke is helping me unload the dishes) There's a piece of banana on that bowl, let me wipe it off.

Luke: Why?

Me: Because there was part of a banana on the counter and you sat the bowl on it.

Luke: Why?

Me: Because Eli had a one for breakfast.

Luke: Why?

Me: Because he wanted one.

Luke: Why?

Me: Because he was hungry.

Luke: Why?

Me: ..Sigh..

Luke: Puts a clothes basket on his head and says, "Because, I'm a robot."

Revelation Song

Revelation 4:8b "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!"

Praise to You the only wise King!!!

What's going on??

I thought I'd let y'all know what's going on with the boys... who should I start with?

Luke:


Luke is very much embracing year number three. He's pretty much decided that he's not going to nap. Occasionally, I can trick him into going upstairs and watching a movie and occasionally that ends up in a nap. More times that not though it just gives me about 30-45 minutes of quiet time, which is okay too. I do have to admit that summertime has actually gotten him to take a few more naps because we're outside more and he's just playing harder. He's actually become a little swimmer! He started swimming with his arm floaties while we were at the beach and now he LOVES the pool. He called the goggles in the picture above his 'water glasses'. He is a typical boy... he hates to wash his hands and brush his teeth. It's literally a fuss every single time. We're also going through some major food issues. He has a really strong gag reflex. Just recently we had steamed broccoli (one of the few veggies he will eat, at least it's a good one!) for dinner. He also had a roll on his plate. Water from the broccoli got onto a bread crumb and Luke started gagging. He was saying that it was 'choke', which is his word for throw up. He literally made himself gag! Dinner was over for him. I told myself that I would never be a short order cook but that's what I am. I guess I feel bad for him because I feel like he really does have some food issues. Twice in the past few months he's thrown up from putting too much in his mouth. He puts too much in his mouth thus causing him to gag and then throw up. If I even attempt to put something on his plate that is 'unappetizing' to him he goes nuts and refuses to look at his plate. Or if something doesn't feel right in his mouth he'll gag. I'm not really sure how to help him with these issues. I really don't want him to be the kid who will only eat chicken nuggets and french fries! Ok, that's not all he'll eat. Here is a list of things I know he will eat:

Cereal
Breads
PB & J
Grilled Cheese
Cheese Quesadilla
Hot Dog (this is something he's recently tried)
PB & honey
Chicken Nuggets
Carrot Sticks
Baby Corn
Apple Sauce
Granola Bars
Raisins
Most fruits
French Fries
Tator Tots
Baby Corn
Yogurt (vanilla only)
Cookies/Cake/Brownie (as long as it doesn't have nuts)
Crackers
Fried Okra
Sunflower seeds
Bacon
Cheese Pizza
Cheese

He's recently stopped eating rice, bananas and peaches. He will sometimes eat corn on the cob, green peas, broccoli and cauliflower. That's really not that big of a list! I'm sure there are some things that I've forgotten but that's pretty much it. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions to try??

One funny story about Luke and I'll share a few things about Eli. Tonight after the Hubs put Luke to bed, he started crying. So, I went upstairs to check on him and he was saying something about his bed being wet. He had some water in a sippy cup and a tiny bit spilled. This kid will do ANYTHING to avoid sleep. I must share the trip to the beach story sometime soon... anyway... He looked at me and held up his pointer finger and said, "Please read me ONE story" so I agreed. I read Duck Soup, which is one of his favorites right now. After I finished I said, "Ok, it's time for bed. I love you and I'll see you in the morning." He raised up his head and raised up his hand... he was concentrating on doing something with his fingers. He said, "Please read me ONE more" and as he said "one" he managed to get the finger he had been concentrating on getting up. His bird finger! He said, "Read me this one" and as he was saying that he was pointing at me with his bird finger! It was hilarious! I was trying so hard not to laugh! He kept repeating it over and over while waving his bird finger at me... "Mommy, read me just this one more!!"

Ahh... funny stuff. Now, on to Eli:


Eli had his 9 month check up last week. If you're keeping up, Eli turned 10 months old on the 29th so the 9 month check up was a little late. He didn't have any shots. It was mainly a check up to check his weight and talk to the Dr again about our dairy issues. He weighed 17 lbs and 12 oz and was 27 inches long. He's in the 10th % for weight and 50% for height. He's pretty much always been in the 10-15 % for weight so no biggie as long as he stays on that curve and doesn't drop! He is still nursing 7-10 times a day and he eats 3 meals. Breakfast is 1/4 banana and either cheerios or 1/2 Kashi fruit bar. Lunch is 1/2 jar of stage 2 dinner (he likes apples & chicken and turkey & veggies) and 1/2 jar of stage 2 fruit or veggie. Dinner is the same as lunch and sometimes he'll have a graham cracker or some puffs for snack or after a 'meal' if he's still hungry (or if I need to keep him occupied in the high chair for a few more minutes). He gets sips of water from a sippy cup too but he doesn't drink much. I have given him watered down juice before but not often. I do try to give him some table food when it's appropriate. He's had potatoes, green peas, squash and peaches so far. I have to still be very careful though because of the dairy issue. Speaking of that... I have successfully added all dairy back into my diet except milk and ice cream. I say successfully but we still need to do a poop test to be sure there isn't anything hidden. After a successful poop test, I will add milk back to my diet. Then we will watch for 'things' and have another poop test. Then it will be time to start introducing things to him... very slowly! :) It looks as if he is growing out of his dairy intolerance and that is a wonderful thing!!

Last Friday (7/3) Eli's first tooth decided to pop up! It's been visible from underneath his gums for probably three weeks and had been bothering him for at least 2! It finally broke through the skin! It still doesn't look much like a tooth because it's just barely visible but I'm sure in a few days it will be more noticeable. Eli is a happy little man (as long as he has momma). He grins and smiles all day unless you take the remote or phone away from him! He makes the cutest face when he grins. He scrunches his nose up (see pic above) and almost snorts as he smiles! He's so funny! He's recently learned how to clap and likes to show off his new talent all the time. Even tonight as he was nursing to sleep he raised his little hands up and clapped a few times! We're still having sleep issues and attachment issues but I've decided to go with the flow! Sleep will come one day. I'm hoping that when Eli finally has his own room he will begin to sleep better. He wakes up often at night but he knows I'm just a few feet from him! He does end up sleeping ON me some because I get so exhausted. I've gotten better at making myself stay up to get him in the bed and it seems to help. He's still really attached to me. I haven't stayed in a worship service in probably close to 4 months. I try to think positive though.. he could go to anyone and everyone. But he trusts me and knows I will take care of him and that is a good thing! I know that I'm doing the right thing by not allowing him to "cry it out" because Eli doesn't cry it out or eventually forget. He cries... and cries.. and cries... He gets completely beside himself. So, until he is more comfortable I will just keep doing what I'm doing.. allowing him to outgrow this stage! :)

Wow, I've typed too much. I could say so much more. I really need to share more about the kids on a regular basis. They are growing too fast and learning so much!

June - Beach and Ocean

Last month I started doing preschool activities with Luke. Since I do plan to home school the boys, I thought it might be fun and helpful to start doing some different learning activities. I was already doing a lot of things with him but I actually thought it out and did some web searching for ideas too! So, for the month of June our theme was "Beach and Ocean". Our Bible principle was "God made all things" and our verse was Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." We focused on the letters B and O. It was amazing what Luke learned this month. We didn't do an activity a day, probably 3-4 times a week. And it's not a set time of day or a particular amount of time. We did take the week off when we were at the beach too! There were so many opportunities to teach him while we were at the beach! We just go with the flow. If we're busy, we don't do an activity. Everything is super simple! I mean he just turned three! Here are a few things that he did:

We colored sand and left it over night to dry. The next day Luke made fun sand art! We talked about how sand feels and that sand covers the beach. We also talked about creatures that live in the sand!

Here are some of the B coloring pages that Luke colored. He can now pick the letter B out in a book!

And here are a few of the O things he colored. (We also watched a video online of an octopus that Luke loved!) We talked about different kinds of animals that live in the ocean and even acted some of them out!

We also did some more gluing projects (Luke loves to glue things!) and counting games with our sea shells from the beach(above).

Next week we will start a new month!! If anyone has any tips or good resources let me know!