My Helper

Sometimes I feel like I'm forgetting to see the wonderfulness of Luke being three. What I mean by that is that it's a tough age for both Mommy and Luke!! It's a daily struggle for us both. Sometimes I tend to focus so much on the negative side of him being three that I forget to look at the new things he's learning or just the fun side of him being this age. Yesterday I had one of those days... We're doing great potty training as far as peeing goes. But poop, well, that's another story. I had to change two poop filled pairs of underwear. And I'll be honest I was annoyed. That was just the start of my annoyances though. He's gotten to where he constantly wants a snack. Not because he's hungry (well, most of the time anyway) but because he doesn't want to eat real food. He will look at me and in his little demanding tone say, "Yes, I can have _____, right now!" He doesn't win of course. I am the mother. (I'm reminding myself, which I do often throughout the day) Our rule is, you can have a snack after you eat your meal, whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner. And mommy (or daddy) makes the decision as to what kind of snack that is, otherwise Luke would be eating fruit snacks and Popsicles all day long. I think I'm pretty fair when it comes to this though. I typically offer him 3 different snacks he can choose from. He usually gets one 'junk' snack a day and several healthy snacks. And he sometimes gets cookies after dinner if he's eaten good. He has no concept of fair though, Luke just wants his way or the highway. It's a battle of the wills.

It's a battle within myself as well. I get so annoyed and frustrated with him demanding things.... his tone of voice... pushing Eli after I've told him a million times to stop... it's often outright defiance, knowingly and willingly on his part. (oh and not to mention the POOP) I can just feel the frustration raising up inside me. I find that I must be in constant communion with the Holy Spirit! If not, I'd fly off the handle. Often though, I do look back at my day and see so many mistakes I made. How did I react? What was my tone of voice in dealing with him? Was I firm, yet loving? Or did I act out in anger? Did I choose to ignore the situation just to avoid having to deal with him? And ashamedly many days the answer to some of those questions is not the right one. Oh how I'm thankful for His grace and mercy in my life!

It's hard raising your own kids! My job as a mother is to point them to Christ in the way I deal with them on a daily basis, minute by minute, really. Staying at home is hard. But it is a blessing because I have the opportunity to constantly pour Jesus into my kids. The question is, am I taking the opportunity for granted or am I making the most of every moment? I will never, ever be perfect this side of heaven. Ha, I laugh at the thought. I know me. And I am beyond imperfect. I disgust myself most days. But I know the Perfect One. And when He went to be with the Father I was not left alone. Praise God for the Holy Spirit! My Counselor, my Advocate. May I not take for granted that He dwells in me.

John 14: 16-17 ~ "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you."