Broken Heart

I clicked "New Post" yesterday and stared at the screen for a minute and then clicked the big X at the top right. I just had no desire to say much of anything.... or maybe I had too much swarming around in my head and couldn't get the words to come out.... or maybe I just felt sick.. and had to go lay down. The latter is probably the most accurate. My previous post with the AWESOME video (that you must see if you haven't yet) has of course been on my mind since I watched it for the first time. I mean I just seriously can't get over the message... the truth..

Today after I read my David Brainerd book, (which I totally suggest to anyone ~ what a walk with God this man had... WOW!!! I'll have to share more about this later!) I just spent some time in prayer with my Heavenly Father. I have been so broken here lately over the fact that so many professing Christians have made a mockery of my sweet Jesus. Oh, it breaks my heart & literally brings me to tears. There are so many who claim to know Him but their life is a life full of ungodly, unholy things. They live like the world and love it. They wallow in sin and I know that Jesus does not go with them! The Jesus of the Bible would never go to the places those people go... He would never stand to hear the things that those people say... To hear someone say, 'Well, I'm a Christian but I am only human" drives me nuts! While that may be true, a true Christian knows that is not an excuse! A biblical Christian has the Holy Spirit dwelling in them! It's just a big excuse for bad behavior. And even those 'good' people.. you know the ones- those who claim to know Him but never darken the doors of the church. They'd rather sleep in than gather together and worship the Living God. They can't find their Bible because it's never read and the only time they might lift up a prayer is when the doctor gives a scary diagnosis. Oh, they know the words to "Amazing Grace" but their iPod favorites would never be sang during the worship service. Or maybe they are in church every Sunday but out at the club on Saturday night. They're only human though.. right? Jesus will have no part in these things... So, why do they claim HIM??

Let me just say they may claim Him... but the 'Jesus' they claim is not the Jesus of the Bible.. not the Savior. They've created an idol... a god who is ok with their sin. I mean, it would make it easier, right? If God overlooked our sin?? Their god maybe... but the Holy One does not.

Jesus Christ saved me... He changed me. I know the supernatural miracle He did in my life. I was wretched and evil and He made me a new creature, just as the Word promises! So how come so many claim salvation but do not have a changed life? Is it that God doesn't change everyone?? Or maybe some people are just fanatics?? Maybe I'm just one of those Jesus freaks?? Does Jesus not have the power to supernaturally change certain people?? Maybe some just get it more than others? Or maybe He only changes part of them?? That could be it, right?

NO!! What kind of a God would He be if that was His character? God is All Powerful!! He is Mighty! When you meet the true, living God you are forever changed. Oh that the God of creation, the Lord Almighty would not be mocked. What slander to call Him a God who cannot change a person fully and powerfully! My heart aches for those who do not know Him.

Jesus~ He is holy. He is just. He is good. He is right. He is light and will have no part with darkness. He hates sin and preached repentance and righteousness. He is pure. He is perfect. He will come back with power and glory. He is the Word of God. He is God in the flesh. He supernaturally, miraculously, amazingly, & powerfully changes lives! He changed mine and I pray that I will always point to the real Jesus.

"Allow Me to Re-introduce the Christ"

I cannot stop listening to this... Her words are so true. Please take a minute (or 7) to listen..







John 1:1-5

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

My boy

Oh.. my boy is growing up! He is 19 months old!! I just feel like gabbing about how much he can do.. so humor me while I talk about him! He is now starting to put words together. When R goes off to work, Luke says byebye and then for about 15 minutes he'll say "Daddy wuk". If he starts to think about his MiMi.. he'll look up at me and say, "MiMi home?" Last night on the way home from church (yes, we live next door but hey it takes a few minutes to walk home!) R said, say byebye to the truck.. and Luke says, "Byebye tuck"... then "Byebye Niny (Lily, our dog)", "Byebye peep (jeep)"... I just can't tell you how sweet it is! When he's working really hard on something and finally gets it done, he says "Now then!"

He is also becoming very independent. If he's in his independent mood, I better not even try to help him! He pitched a fit the other day because I tried to help him put his pants on! Wow, what a mistake that was! He eventually realized that he needed help and said, "elp me!" (I'm attempting to get a please after that!). So, I was able to assist him.. all the while giving him lots of praise for doing most of it on his own!

His favorite toys have become papers he can reach on the counter, empty bottles of water, tupperware... oh and anything that he can get his hands on that he is not suppose to have!

Right now he's getting his 4 eye teeth in, all at the same time. He's been a super sport about it for the most part but he's had a runny nose for literally over a month. No medical professional can convince me that a child will not get a runny nose because of incoming baby teeth!

AND he got his first hair cut Friday!! He hasn't really had much hair since he was born (he was almost bald for the first 12 months!!) and even when it was cut, not much was actually cut off. He had some wild scraggly hair growing in the back though that really needed to be trimmed. He wasn't about to sit in the chair to have it cut though... so Mommy had to hold him! He looks like a handsome little man!

I must interject here, I started this post yesterday and today we had 3 exciting things happen that should be noted!!! Today he managed to: empty an almost full box of Cheerios in the kitchen floor, color with crayons on the kitchen linoleum, and rip 2 strips of wood off the inside of the closet door. And, as I speak, I can hear him banging on his crib with his feet... 50 minutes AFTER he was put in bed. Oh me...

Luke, Mommy is so proud of you!! I couldn't love you more at this moment, yet everyday my love seems to grow! My hugs and kisses belong to you!! :)

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Pregnancy Update:

Overall since last week I've actually felt better. I did buy some Ensure and it actually is pretty good. It pretty much taste like a melted strawberry milkshake. I think that helped me get some more calories in. I've also been trying to eat more. I've realized that no matter how small the meal is... I still feel the same way afterwards (nasty taste in my mouth/heartburn) so I might as well eat a little more and get some calories in. Last night was a rough night because I did feel really nauseous but after a good night's sleep I've felt much better today. With Luke, I never felt bad in my first trimester. I can remember maybe 2 or 3 times that I kind of felt sick but it was always a response to some food I had smelled (garlic and Parmesan cheese!) and it went away as soon as I couldn't smell the food! So, this general constant yucky feeling is very different this time around! I'm 8 wks today based on my LMP but because the baby was measuring bigger at my US, I could be considered 8 wks, 4 days. Hopefully this yuckyness will go away in just a few weeks!!

Abortion is fashionable???

I was just shocked when I clicked on this website! And then to read that they raised $75,000 at last years event, with a goal of $100,000 this year (and this is just ONE state)! Please pray with me that Planned Parenthood is stopped!!!
Go here to help stop Planned Parenthood tax funding!

Psalm 139:13-16
13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

First Dr's Visit

So today was my first Dr's visit! I was SO nervous this morning! I know I've done this before but I couldn't help but be nervous! Everything was just fine! We got to see the little blueberry (something I read today said that 'it' was about the size of a blueberry) on the sonor. It just amazes me to see something so small, yet so alive. That little heart was just beating away! And to think that some don't even call that life! Wow.. Anyways, officially, my due date is August 29, 2008. This is going by the measurement on the sonogram, which is the most accurate. Thankfully this time R did not fall in the floor right before they did the sonogram. He actually behaved himself! (Last time he didn't notice that the stool he was about to sit on had WHEELS... so when he sat down.. it flew out from underneath him.) I did have to remind him not to touch a few things. He's just like a kid... wanting to touch everything and mash buttons and switches... He did politely excuse himself for 'the exam' and went out to read his MacArthur commentary.

I went to the Dr about a month ago for a sinus infection and of course, I remembered my weight because I AM A WOMAN. Well, anyways, I have lost 5 lbs since that visit. I was talking to the CNP and she said for my 'size' that was really too much weight to lose. A 1-2 pound loss in a month would be considered 'normal'. So, she suggested ensure... but of course that sounds totally gross to me! I might try it but then again, I might just *try* to eat more too. I'm just having a hard time eating normal size meals... well, really normal types of food. For instance today I've had: A bowl of grits (plain w/ butter), a handful of rice chex cereal, Half of a PB&J sandwich, Chikfila chicken sandwich, a few fries, a lemonade and water.. Actually today was a pretty good day because after the Dr visit I was STARVING, so I ate the whole sandwich and a few fries... which is more than normal. And I will probably have a little bit of something in a little while before bed.. I normally would have had a snack by now but I think since I had such a big meal earlier, I haven't been hungry. Vegetables sound so gross to me right now (I would never admit that to Luke though!) and I normally love them. I did have veggie soup last night but I really had to make myself eat it. Ok, now I'm just rambling....

Anyways, my point is.. everything went great today! I am so thankful!! God is so good and well, even if everything wasn't ok, God would still be so good!

Passions

I'm kind of sad because I haven't been blogging as much. Our computer has been acting up plus for the past week all I have wanted to do is lay on the couch and snooze (when I actually have the opportunity arise). I've got a lot of things on my mind as always but just haven't made it to the computer! So here I am...

One of the things I've been thinking about, with it being a new year and all... are my passions. What drives me? What things do I want to focus on this year? So here is a small list. I am quite simple :)

Jesus- really He could sum up my 'passions'. Everything I desire to do begins with Him. What is life without Him? I just want to draw closer to Him, know Him better, follow Him, glorify Him with my life. Really, if I just stick with that I'll be just fine! But there are other passions that I believe that He has given me, so here they are:

My family- I want to be the best wife and mommy I can be. Here lately I feel like I've failed somewhat at my role because I've been so tired but I also have to remember that I am growing a baby human! I've got to do my mommy duties for this new little one too... which currently consists of resting as much as possible!! I know God has called me to be a wife and mother. Specifically to be in the home and not working. That is a desire He placed in me shortly after I was saved, before R and I were married. I am very passionate about that and somewhat take offense to those who think that what I do is not a worthy position. (then I remember that I don't answer to them anyways!) I take great responsibility in raising my child(ren) and attempting to keep my home orderly for my husband. (Please don't stop by though because as I said, I've been on light duty for the past week!) I am by no means 'Suzie Homemaker', but I do know God has called me to be Crystal homemaker!

The unborn- By that, I mean 'pro-life' issues. I am very passionate about the unborn. There are tons of great causes out there, all worthy of support, but I do believe that God has burned this particular issue on my heart. I long for the day when abortion is abolished. I'm thankful that God has given me the opportunity to volunteer my time to help fight against abortion. I'm thankful for a husband who supports this ministry that I am involved in as well. I long to see Christians stand up for the unborn instead of just being silent. I am a believer that not saying anything against sometimes can do just as much harm as those who are for it. It's naive to think that everyone in church is prolife or supports prolife issues. And with it being an election year, I think it's especially important to stand up and speak out. It does matter what those we vote for believe morally. It matters to millions of unborn babies.

Biblical Truth- I believe that we live in a day where biblical truth has disappeared in the vast majority of churches. Biblical salvation is a thing of the past. Biblical Christians are hard to find. There is no holiness or purity anymore. God is being made a mockery because most who proclaim 'Christianity' live unholy, impure, self-righteous lives. They show no evidence of a supernaturally changed life. The saying "anything goes" has not only become a motto in American society but also a motto in most churches. What happened to listening to and applying the truth from the pages of God's Holy Word? What happened to being holy and set apart by God? What happened to becoming a new creature in Christ? The fact of the matter is that most people don't know biblical truth because they don't know the Bible. They are being mislead by false prophets who give those 'feel good, do good' messages and Satan is having a field day. 'Jesus Loves You' is being proclaimed from the pulpits, but who is going to tell them that judgement is coming and if they don't repent, their eternity will be spent in hell? That, my friend, is the truth. I know there are a lot out there who teach good and right biblical discipleship. And there is definitely a place for that. My passion though is to first see that salvation is taken care of. If true salvation does not exist, nothing else matters. And because I believe that many church members have not been biblically converted, I think that true salvation needs to be taught and preached more so than anything. God's Word is enough. My passion and desire for the youth that R and I work with is that they know what true salvation looks like and is. I pray that they experience it, as I believe many of them have. I pray that truly converted Christians will have a growing desire to know God's truth and proclaim it boldly until the glorious day that He returns!

Menu Plan Monday!

So I finally get a chance to join in with Menu Plan Monday. I usually grocery shop Thurs or Fri but I just put it off this weekend! We had dinner with my folks Saturday night and then yesterday was pizza after church because R was craving it (I think he has some sympathy 'symptoms') so I just skipped my regular grocery trip. I'm totally NOT into food right now. Nothing sounds good at all. I'm eating because I'm hungry.. but that is the only reason. Thankfully I'm not sick as in.. well, you know. But I do feel yucky and I have this constant feeling of food sitting right in the middle of my chest.. no matter what I eat or when or how much! It never goes away. This lovely symptom all started a few days ago. I will say that I will take this over *the other* any day. I refuse to say the word, especially in a food post. So here is my menu, whether I like it or not... the family has to eat!

~Mexican Tortilla Pie (recipe below)

~Chicken and Biscuits (kind of like chicken pot pie)

~Potato Soup
~Spaghetti and Meatballs (this will finally use up all of the remaining frozen meatballs!), salad

~Vegetable Beef Soup, cornbread
~Pot Roast with potatoes & carrots, some green veggie

I have never made a pot roast so this should be interesting. I'm really feeling like the only things that sound even the slightest bit good to me are things that aren't heavily spiced or in other words, are bland! Why then, you ask, am I having spaghetti and tortilla pie? Well, because I already have all of that stuff on hand.... so that's why! :)

Here is the recipe for Mexican Tortilla Pie. I'm not sure if I've shared it before so if I have, forgive me!

Mexican Tortilla Pie
3 large flour tortillas
1 can corn, drained
1 can black beans, drained
salsa
cheese

Preheat oven to 450. Spray cooking spray on a large cookie sheet. Lay one tortilla down on cookie sheet. Spoon salsa over tortilla, just like if you were spreading pizza sauce on pizza dough. Mix corn and black beans in small bowl. Spoon half of corn/bean mixture evenly over salsa. Top with cheese. Repeat one more layer and top with tortilla. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Let cool 5-10 minutes before slicing. 1/4 of the pie is a pretty decent size if you use the large tortillas. Serve with sour cream. Very easy!

A late Christmas gift!

(If you haven't heard my news go here)

Those of you who saw my Christmas Tour may remember one of my favorite ornaments.. the one of Luke's little hand print. Well, I was soo excited to find out at New Years that my mom just happened to be keeping Luke the Sunday in December that they were making ornaments again! One of the girls at my mom's church had told me that she helped with his footprint but I didn't even think about it being an ornament! I was really surprised! So I just had to share my cute new ornament that will definitely be on the tree next year!!

His foot turned into a snowman:





And here are his little toes!

The other side has his other footprint and his name and year. So cute!

And as a side note: the other pic I showed of his 'hand print' ornament actually has a little baby in a manger on the other side. The manger is his thumb and baby Jesus is his little finger prints! I don't know why I didn't take a pic of that! They are too precious!

Guess what?

Well, since the news is spreading fast.... I figured now would be a good time to spread the news to all of my bloggy friends!

We are expecting Baby #2!!! We just found out, so I am only 5 wks! I wanted to wait a while SO bad before telling family but I just couldn't! Christmas was just the perfect opportunity!

I know some people choose to wait for fear of something happening.. and I know that is always a possibility but I just decided to be excited and celebrate! Any life, no matter how small (even the size of a poppy seed) is reason to rejoice! I know that God is the giver of life and whatever happens is in His hands!

I'm sure I'll be updating as things progress. I have my first Dr's visit Jan. 15th. So far, no morning sickness. I'm hoping to avoid it again, since I didn't have any with Luke. The only thing I am suffering from is EXTREME fatigue!! That is why I am ending this post now and going to bed. I cannot keep my eyes open any longer!