He knew. And He is so beautiful. {My Miscarriage Story}

I've been wanting to sit down and write this post for a week or so but I just haven't had time. I want to share my feelings for many reasons and one of them is because I've had several people ask me how I'm doing. So, I guess the best place to start is in the beginning.

Robby and I found out that we were expecting our third baby a little over a month ago. We were surprised, but excited! We had planned on starting to try for baby #3 after the first of the year but were pleasantly surprised to be pregnant a few months earlier! About a week after we found out, I started having some problems. I don't know anyway to explain it, but I had a deep feeling that things weren't right. I called the Dr about the problems and they told me to 'take it easy' and call if things got worse. So, I took it easy and things actually got better for a day or two. I tried to shake the uneasy feeling but two days later I started bleeding again.

That day (Nov 17th) actually started unusual. I woke up around 6:30am to find my husband still in the bed with me. I asked him if he was going to work.. and if not, then why? He never just stays home to stay home. He said that he just decided to take a day and hang out with me and the boys. So, since things had gotten better we decided to take a trip to look at Christmas trees with the boys. We were all going stir crazy! The Hub's mom was going to get us a new tree for Christmas and we were trying to decide on what we wanted. So, we spent about 2 hours looking at new trees and decided to eat lunch on our way home and just get the first one I had liked... at WalMart! At lunch is when my problems started again. I decided that when I got home I would call my Dr back. The Hubs had already talked to his mom and planned on meeting her at WalMart, so I just had him drop me off at home. He and the boys met her there, while I talked to the nurse. The NP said I could come in right then and have a sonogram. My first apt wasn't for a week later. I called the Hubs and they were checking out. We only live 5 min from WalMart so they were home quick and thankfully my mother-in-law was there to keep the boys. Coincidence?

So, to make a long story short we made it to the Dr and I was taken back pretty quickly. I prayed the whole time that God would just give me a peace no matter what. I found myself that day and even the days prior wanting to just know... so I could move on. I really think I already knew. I just wanted to know for sure. I was suppose to be 7 weeks and 2 days. So, she started the sonogram and I immediately knew something was wrong. There was nothing there, only a sac. At 7+ weeks there should be a baby and a heartbeat. And while some people may be off on their dates, I wasn't. I got a positive pregnancy test on October 26, over 3 weeks before this sonogram. There is no way it was too early to see a heartbeat. So, my Dr gave me the options to think it over and decide what I wanted to do. I decided to wait and have blood work over the course of a few days. Because, although I knew, I wanted the numbers to prove the feeling I had, 100%. My blood work showed numbers that matched the supposed gestation of the baby... meaning the hCG levels showed a 7-8 week pregnancy, but the sonogram only showed a sac measuring around 5 weeks. That was my confirmation although, like I said, I already knew in my heart.

I got home and did research about what my type of miscarriage meant. Was I ever pregnant? Was there a baby? I needed to know these answers. Yes, there was a baby. My baby was just too small to be seen on sonor. A fertilized egg implants but the embryo stops developing very early.

I chose to miscarry naturally. I actually prayed that if it was His will, He would allow me to do so before I had to have more blood work on Monday and He did. The actual miscarriage happened Sunday, Nov 21. It was difficult, emotionally and physically. But I think the physical part was good for me. It was hard but it was healing. I'm still having blood work waiting on my numbers to go all the way down. Hopefully today was the last one. It can take a few weeks if you miscarry naturally.

My heart was broken. But God gave me such peace. It really is unexplainable. His peace truly does surpass all understanding (Phil. 4:7). When family asked how I was, I told them that I was okay. And I was. He was with me. He has ordained all of my days and has promised to never leave me. He knew my husband needed to be with me. He knew my mother-in-law needed to be near. He knew. And He is so beautiful. What a wonderful God! I praise Him for being so near and being so involved in the details of my life! He is so good!! I know where my baby is. No, he or she is not sitting on a white cloud with wings. My baby is in the prescense of Jehovah! And that is comfort in itself!

I want to share a little bit about Luke and how he handled it, but I'll have to do that later! I do want to thank those of you who have prayed for us during this time! We are so thankful and appreciative!

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!" Psalm 118:29

Pregnancy Update

So, I am still pregnant!! My due date is actually tomorrow 8/29/08. I have made some progression though. My contractions are very irregular and not what you would consider normal real labor contractions. They are uncomfortable but not painful.

I had a Dr's appointment Tuesday and everything looks good. I did have to schedule a repeat c-section but I knew that was coming. I scheduled it for Wednesday, 9/3. I prayed and prayed about that situation and when I left I just felt a peace about it. I know that God is in control. And after I made the c/s decision, I knew that if I was going to go into labor on my own it was because God wanted me to. I've known that all along but after Tuesday's appointment God just gave me clear assurance and peace that it was all in His hands. It's one thing to know that.. and it's another to feel it. And I'm so thankful for His answering my prayers!

So, the crazy thing was that Wednesday morning I woke up with some obvious progression! I was quite surprised because it's something that I've never experienced. With Luke my water broke 3 days before his due date with no warning. I never felt the first contraction until I got to the hospital and was hooked up on induction meds. So, this is all very new to me even though I've given birth before. And now it's just a waiting game! I'm thankful that my body seems to be working on it's own to do what it's suppose to do. That has been one of my prayers...

And I am still fully aware that I could continue to progress, get to the hospital and still end up with a c-section. I'm just thankful that it looks like I'm going to be able to try for my VBAC. I've been praying Scripture for several days now. Here are a few that I've been praying:

Phil. 4:6-7 ~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Psalm 56:3 ~ Whenever I am afraid; I will trust in You.

Psalm 34:4 ~ I sought the Lord and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.

Isaiah 12:2a ~ Behold God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid.

Phil 4:13 ~ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

1 Peter 5:6-7 ~ Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

And these will be going with me to the hospital! Whatever day I end up going! :)

So.. 37 weeks... and I'm feeling...

Anxious! I seem to have a case of the butterflies! Every time I think about this little guy I get a case of the flutters in my tummy (and that's weird to me since I have ZERO room in there). I honestly feel really good. This pregnancy, especially the end, has really been so different than the first. Um, the biggest difference being that I have a toddler who keeps me busy. Seriously though, I think that has a great deal to do with how I feel. I have had no choice but to stay busy and it's helped me out a lot. Don't get me wrong... I took an hour nap this afternoon because I needed it, but over all I feel pretty good. There are moments when I feel a little nauseous because of the ZERO room I have in my stomach and of course there are times when I am so HOT it's not even funny... but I'm not complaining. :)

I've got our bags completely packed and ready to head out the door. The house is... well, it's decent. There are things that need to be done but I'm ok if they don't get done. I'm 37 weeks pregnant.. I have a toddler.. and I can't do everything. And I am ok with that. That is a great lesson that I am learning more and more everyday. My house is not a home because the toilets are always scrubbed and the clothes are always neatly put away (not that those aren't important things...). Oh, but as I often say, that is another post.. one that I will probably never get around to! :) On a similar note though my sister is suppose to be coming over soon to help me do some organizing, etc. And that I am very thankful for. She is one of those weirdos that actually enjoys that kind of stuff (totally joking for those of you who are like her!!!!).

Eli is still moving around in there all the time. He is quite the active little fellow! I'm having some Braxton Hicks contractions but nothing painful or even uncomfortable. I feel like a camel because I'm drinking so much water. I know it's good for me and it's what I'm suppose to be doing but it's amazing how much I can drink in one day (and throughout the night). I didn't walk much last week because of the evangelist we had at church but I've picked that back up this week. Most of what I've read say that walking doesn't actually help progress labor much but it does help the baby get in a better position for labor.

At my Dr's apt this past Tuesday, I didn't get much exciting news from my OB except that it's still early and I have plenty of time for things to start happening. If I start to think about it too much I get really nervous and even discouraged. With Luke I really wasn't that nervous at all. I mean, I was going into everything blindly. But with a C/S behind me now, I just have a little more on my mind! God is in control though and I know that. His peace has been my calm and comfort during those moments where I want to start worrying.

Ultimately, I just can't wait for it to all be over and have my sweet little boy home with me. I can't wait for my Luke to meet his baby brother and I can't wait to be a family of four.

And again, I covet your prayers for the delivery of our little one.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Phil. 4:6-7

Funny Friday.. Pregnancy Update

I'm 35 weeks today! 35 days to go! I started packing my hospital bag this week. It's crazy to me that it's already time to start thinking about these kinds of things. Here is my list so far:

Socks (the kind with the rubber stuff on the bottom.. I don't do slippers)
Hair things
Shampoo & Conditioner
Face/Body Wash
Deodorant
Toothpaste
Toothbrush holder
Chapstick (2!! This was so important)
Lotion
Ginormous Pads
Robe
Coming home outfit (which consists of stretchy pants and a tshirt!!)
Undies (for coming home.. I don't think I wore my own much at all while I was there)
Cell Phone Charger
Snacks
Disposable Camera
Reading material
Luke's big brother box
Nursing Bra
List of names and phone numbers for the Hubs
Baby items: A few onesies, socks (for hands, the mittens never worked for us), nail clippers, carseat, baby book for hand/foot prints (I forgot this with Luke!!), boppy

Last minute things to grab:
Make up/Moisturizer
Toothbrush
Digital Camera
Pillow

Am I forgetting anything?? I've made a billion lists out and then I lose them, so I make another one! It seems like a lot on that list! Do I really need it all? Notice there is not a thing on there for the Hubs. Maybe I should pack him some PJ pants just in case. I know he'll be coming home to shower and stuff though... But we got to the hospital at 9am with Luke and he wasn't born until 8:53PM that night.. and of course after we got settled in our room it was late.. and all the Hubs had was his jeans and tshirt... so maybe I should throw him some PJ's in there. Anyway, I'm rambling...

We also set up the cosleeper this week. It's so strange seeing it in our room and I'm having to get use to getting out of bed with it being right there. It's exciting imagining my sweet Eli sleeping in there.. (you are going to SLEEP in there right, Eli??) and remembering when Luke once slept in it. I also found a large bin of Luke's clothes under my bed! Guess what sizes they were? Newborn-3 mths!!! I thought I had gotten rid of them all (or lost them when we moved)! I'm glad to have them now though. It will be fun to put Eli in some of Luke's tiny little things!

Speaking of Luke, he ran another fever last night after being fever-free all day yesterday. I called the nurse again and she said this was typical of the 'fever virus' that is going around. He's still eating and playing like normal though. I was told that it may last 2 or 3 more nights but should be gone by Monday. We're going stir crazy here. I have a child that would live outside if he could! The Hubs took him to the gas station to get gas (and mommy a York Peppermint Patty) just to get out of the house for 10 minutes this morning!

Well, I was just told that Luke stinks.. so duty calls.. :)

Pregnancy update and some ramblings!

I had my 31 week appointment yesterday. Now I will start going every 2 weeks until 35 weeks... then I'll be going every week! It was a quick visit, everything looks great! I asked her about my walking (I'm still walking about 3-4 times a week) and she said that I could keep it up as long as I didn't get too hot. The weather has been sooo nice out but I'm afraid it's not going to last much longer. I guess then I'll just do my walking DVD inside in the AC! She also asked me if we were still planning on the VBAC. Yep! I have been thinking about that a lot.. especially since delivery is getting closer and closer! I will admit I am a little scared about it but the thought of scheduling major surgery scares me even more. There are risks to having a VBAC but the risks are very, very rare. Uterine rupture (which freaks me out so I don't plan on even thinking about it ever after this very moment.. well, I will at least try not to think about it!) only happens in about 2% of those who try VBACS. And that is only increased if you are induced. And seriously if you think about it there are definitely risks to having major surgery as well! I know that I have a higher chance of labor resulting in repeat c/s this time around but I've done it before.. and I can do it again! It helps that my Dr is supportive! I have a fear though of getting a nurse who isn't all about VBACs and is ugly or discouraging to me about it. Here is what I do know:

I cannot be induced (but wouldn't want to be anyways, I wasn't with Luke)
I have to progress on my own, no help with drugs
I have a 70-75% chance at a successful vaginal delivery
I can have an epidural (yay!) but should try to delay so that my body progresses well
And most importantly: God is in control!!!

I have been praying about this since the moment I found out I was pregnant. I know that God will be with me no matter what the outcome! I'm praying for a successful VBAC but most importantly a healthy baby (and a healthy Mommy to take care of both of my babies... and R too!).

So, for all of you out there, please add this to your prayer list! In just 5 & 1/2 weeks I will be considered full term (wow, it is really that close!). Eli will be here soon! :)

Oh well..... :)

I spent about 45 minutes Wednesday night writing a post. Now it's gone! I was going to try and finish it this morning since Luke is still in bed... It was one of those posts that you really have to concentrate on! Grrr... Oh well... Here are some updates on us:

Luke had his 2 year check-up Wednesday. He did pretty good until they called his name. When they called his name he sat down in the floor, refusing to walk back to the patient room. R had to pick him up! The tears immediately started flowing. So, we had to get him undressed and weighed/measured. He weighs 27 lbs and 11 oz and is 35 inches tall. He got a little more comfortable while we waited on the Dr but once Dr. C opened the door, the tears came again! Developmentally Luke is doing great! Of course, the Dr has to take my word for it.. it's not like Luke's going to bust out in the ABC's for him. Physically he's great too. I haven't checked the percentile that he's in but I know just by watching the Dr mark it on his chart that he's in the normal range. He has 16 teeth so we are still waiting for those 2 year molars to come in. That explains all of the finger chewing and drooling. We had delayed his MMR shot so I thought he would get it Wed but because I am pregnant they decided to wait. It's safe in the 3rd trimester but since I am in the beginning of the trimester (30 weeks today!!!) we just decided to wait. So when Eli has one of his many first Dr's visits, Luke gets to come with him to get a shot too! So, after all of the poking and prodding we we're ready to go. And Luke was relieved. I promised him a surprise so when we got in the car he got a fun size bag of M&M's. That made everything better.. but chocolate often does.

Yesterday R and I went to have my 4D sonogram. Eli was a little shy at first but we did get some good video of him towards the end. He had his little hands up by his face most of the time. The actual photos aren't as good to me. I think you can see more on the DVD. Technology is just amazing! The only big difference that I can see from Luke and Eli is that Eli's lips seem fuller. If I was fancy at editing photos I would try to post some here but it would take me a while to figure out how to get all my info off of them. I mean I'd rather not tell everyone my last name... you know on the whole internet. And he is now head down, which I am so thankful for! I have been praying that he would move! I really think that he did that last week when I could tell a huge difference in the way my belly was shaped! Plus, I can now feel kicks and movements lower instead of my ribs (which is great!) because his feet & hands are down by his face with his little hiney up! 10 more weeks to go! I am so excited! :)

Well, time to get busy. Luke's birthday party is tomorrow! I've got some last minute things I need to pick up at the store and lots of straightening up to do!

Have a fantastic day! :)

Ready for the weekend....

Update- Aunt B's home safely! :) We're heading to spend the day with her and relax by the pool!

Well VBS is officially over for me! What a week! I had a great time but it really wore me out. I think the last trimester 'sleepies' hit me this week.... add VBS to that and I was exhausted everyday when I got home! I took a two hour nap 3 days this week! R was home today, so when Luke went down for his nap we both took a nap too. R said that I was asleep in record time (usually it's the other way around!). We still have commencement Sunday night but I will be missing it because.... my sister is flying home Sunday evening!!! YAY!! I am so excited. She made it safely to New York yesterday and has been resting and seeing all of NYC the past 2 days. My mom talked to her earlier and she was getting tickets for a Broadway show. Lucky! Please keep her in your prayers as she flies home Sunday. My parents, Luke and I will be driving to the airport to pick her up.
A little pregnancy update: I had an apt this past Tuesday with the NP (my Dr was out of town). Everything is going great. I had my glucose test, which I passed. My blood count looks great. She said I was measuring big but that's what I was told last month too. I haven't had much swelling, unless I'm up all day long. She said she would be surprised if I wasn't swelling just a little because of the heat! I'm definitely doing a lot better this time than with Luke. By this time with Luke, I couldn't even wear my wedding bands! I already had them around my neck!! I have walked 4 out of the 5 days this week (despite being very tired). Hopefully I can keep that up because I know it will help. I'm 29 weeks today. 11 to go! I'm really excited because next Thursday I go to have my 4D sonogram! Eli is still squirming around in there a lot. I know the tighter and more cramped things get that his movements will slow down some. I feel like he's changed positions some this week. I could really feel him a lot the past 2 or 3 weeks up in my ribs but the past 2 days he's been lower, almost like he's turned sideways a little. I'm hoping that since he was breech at 19 weeks that he's getting ready to turn head down in the next few weeks!
I was going to talk about some things that I've been reading but I can't find my Holiness of God (Sproul) book. I was reading outside yesterday while Luke played and R brought it in for me. I remember him telling me he brought it in but it's no where to be found. He doesn't remember where he put it. So, since it's late anyways and my brain doesn't work well unless it's been refreshed a little I'll save that for later. I've been studying those who have wrestled with God: Jacob, Job, Habakkuk to name a few. Isn't it funny (or should I say foolish) that sometimes we think we know better than a holy God? Oh, but when we are shown just a glimpse of Him, we fall to our knees in reverence and humility... but like I said, more on that later!

Strange things... and MPM for June 9

Fried Egg, Cheese and Jalepeno sandwich is normal right? I thought so.

It was so good!

Seriously, I have not had many cravings. I've kind of talked before how I really think most of them are myths. I just like food and I like it with jalepenos.

I must tell you about one of my pregnancy dreams that I had. It's hilarious! I had a dream that we brought the baby home. It was a girl, oddly enough, and I know there is no way possible that this one is a girl. Little boys are pretty easy to spot.. She also had lots of curly hair! So, we brought her home late one evening and put her to bed. The next morning it was time to feed her. We hadn't fed her all night. We didn't hear a peep out of her. My response when we woke up was, 'well, I better feed her since we haven't fed her since we brought her home.'.... Like it was no big deal!!! So, R and I go to find her.. yes, I said FIND her. We could not remember what room we had laid her down in! So, we're searching every room in the house trying to find her. Well, where do we find her? Under one of our beds, just as content as can be. Again, there was no panic.. it was completely normally to find our infant child under one of our beds. So, I go to nurse her and I tell R in my dream that I hope that the feeding goes better this time than with Luke. So I start nursing and milk starts flowing like a water faucet turned on full blast! I mean I was almost drowning this child with milk! Haha.. now that is one part of the dream that there may be some truth too. I do hope that I have plenty of milk to feed this little one... but maybe not that much. So after the major milk flow I woke up. It is insane what these hormones will cause you to dream. I've had another strange one since then but I can't remember it for some reason.... I'm sure there will be plenty more the closer it gets. 11 & 1/2 weeks to go!

Ok... enough about that craziness.... Here is my menu for the week (easy because of VBS):

Monday- Boxed Chicken Veggie Lasagna (gasp).. Yep, it's been in the freezer for a while and it needs to be eaten. We start VBS tomorrow so I won't be doing my normal morning grocery run. So, we'll have an easy dinner and then head to the grocery store tomorrow evening.

Beef Pot Roast (Crock Pot ~ I'm looking at 2 recipes to try... I'll let you know which one I choose and if it turns out)), Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans

Beef Soft Tacos (using leftover meat), Refried Beans, Apple Grape and Walnut Salad

Crockpot BBQ Chicken, Broccoli, Corn on the cob

Loaded Baked Potatoes, Salad

Reviews from last week: The meatloaf in the crockpot was a hit. There was A LOT of fat to drain off but that's pretty normal. I just drained it about an hour before it was supposed to be finished and added the ketchup to the top. I loved that I could just throw it in at lunch and that it was done at supper time. The other plus, the crock pot doesn't heat up my kitchen like the oven does. I didn't make the other crock pot meal (the chicken one) because we had a busy day and I just made some tuna salad for that night.

Breakfast- Cereal, Oatmeal, Fruit

Lunches- Sandwiches, Leftovers, Fruit, Carrots Sticks (dressing)... I think there are a few Lean Cuisine's in there too. (we'll be snacking at VBS so lunches will be small)

Snacks- Yogurt, Raisins, Teddy Grahams, Popcorn, Fruit.. I'm trying to lay off the sweets this week so I'm staying away from the frozen dessert aisle!

I have no idea what we'll be getting for fruit besides grapes, apples and bananas. Cantaloupes are on sale so I'll get one of those if I find a good looking one. I think berries (all kinds) are one sale too.

We had a great time Friday night with the grandparents. We ended up getting a tray of chicken nuggets (from ChickFilA) and I baked some french fries, which is the recently turned 2 year old's favorite. I also got a tray of deli subs from Publix, a cookie cake & vanilla ice cream. We also had chips to go along with it and my mom made a peach cobbler. We tend to over do it in the food department for get-togethers. I would rather have too much food than not enough. We had leftovers Sat and today for lunch from the party.

Time for bed.. VBS starts tomorrow... :)

Ramblings of a pregnant lady.. and a basement guest

(**Update about the GUEST is below**)
I'm feeling under the weather today. Blah. Allergies. I don't know why they haven't bothered me all spring and now all of a sudden they decide to make me all stuffy! Whatever is bloomin' right now is not my friend! Luke has had a runny nose too but that's pretty normal around here. I'm afraid he's inherited my allergies. Needless to say I've felt pretty worthless today because all I've wanted to do was lay around.

We did get some work done this weekend. We cleaned out Eli's room for the most part and got out the swing. I still need to wash all of the padding/etc on it and get out the bouncer. I've washed a few of his little outfits and I've also went through Luke's things to see what I can use. Surprisingly, Luke does not have ANY newborn or 0-3 months stuff. I guess I didn't keep it. I knew we would be planning more kids but most of what he wore in the very beginning I didn't keep. They were just onesies mainly. He was a big boy so he didn't wear those sizes long. All of the stuff that I kept start in the 3-6 month size range. I've picked out a few little things for Eli but I'm not going to go overboard considering I didn't keep much of Luke's newborn clothing. For the first 2 months you're pretty much home most of the time.. so a few comfy onesies is all you need.


So, I actually feel a little more ready for Eli than I did. The rest of my list that needs to be done includes:


buy extenders for the cosleeper
buy crib
buy changing table
make Luke's big brother box for the hospital
find swaddling blankets (our lifesaver with Luke)
pick up: nursing pads, lanolin, a few paci's, bottles, infant Tylenol (since Luke uses children's now), Mylicon drops, a few 'things' for the hospital that I know I will need
pick out bedding

I'm having a diapers and wipes shower at church so hopefully that will be covered. I'm also having a shower at my mom's and I'll probably get some things there that I know I need since it's mostly family and I can request certain things. I know that he'll be in our room in the cosleeper for a while so really the crib can wait until the last minute. I plan on buying some kind of bedding but I'm going way less expensive this time. I'm going to pick up a few paci's and just save the receipts. Hopefully he will like the first one we try... unlike Luke who didn't like any until we got to the 4th or 5th one. Monogramming is super cute but after looking through Luke's things, I barely have any burp clothes that I can use because all of the nice ones (that I used in public and didn't stain) have his name or initials on them! So, Eli will need some of his own. It's the same with Luke's diaper bags. I think I only have one diaper bag that doesn't have Luke's name on it. My little Eli deserves some things of his own though! Most of these things I will get here and there, but I know it will take me the entire 13 weeks that I have left to get them all. Yes, that is only 3 months left... three months from tomorrow!


Ok, I had to take a break because my husband came and got me to tell me that something was in the basement. He heard a commotion outside which included dogs barking and growling and some strange noises... well this is what was making the strange noises:

So, how do you get an armadillo out of the basement?.. because as of right now, this thing is still in there. As you can see, R's attempts at hosing it down and throwing things at it did not work.

So... I think it's time to go to bed....

Update: After failed attempts of hosing it out, throwing ink pens/other random objects, and sweeping it out with a large push broom, we decided to just hope that he (or she, who knows??) would just mosey on out... and he/she did. It was gone this morning. How crazy is that though?? Life here in the parsonage is so exciting....

A little update ~ Pregnancy and Luke

Update- I got a more than just a 'little sun' on my shoulders. They are RED. I'm so mad too! I'm usually so good about putting on sunscreen. I guess I just didn't think we we're out there that long! BLAH! Note to self: Apply sunscreen to yourself when you apply it to Luke.

I hear a beeping noise... it's my computer... what in the world does that mean??? Ok, it stopped.

Back to regular programming....

I realized that I didn't give a pregnancy update after my last appointment. I guess mainly because it was just a regular appointment, plus I was only there 35 minutes (waiting time included)!! That was a first! So, I heard the heartbeat again and she asked me about movement! This little one loves to wiggle! Late afternoon and evening is his most active time. I feel him a lot first thing in the morning before I get out of bed too. He is my wake up call telling me it's time for a glass of OJ! She said I was measuring a little bit ahead but not by much. I did gain some weight... more than I would have liked but she wasn't concerned at all. She said I was due some weight gain since I didn't gain any the month before. According to her charts I've gained 14 lbs total and I was 24 weeks at the time of my appointment (BTW, I'm 25 weeks and 5 days today!!). I'm feeling pretty good about that though, it's less than what I gained with Luke. I have been trying to be careful with my sweets though and late night snacking since I did gain a lot of weight with Luke towards the end. 100 calorie packs of popcorn are a lifesaver! :) I've been trying to walk too. I only got in 2 days last week but I'm going to try to get in 4 this week. My Dr said that I was an easy patient! I'm just so thankful that everything is going so well! It's such a blessing to have a fairly easy pregnancy and healthy baby! My next apt is June 10th and I have my glucose test! Blah! Luckily my Dr does allow you to eat breakfast, just nothing sugary so at least I won't be starving to death! Drinking that nasty stuff is bad enough! I'm also having a 4D sonogram on the 19th and I can't wait for that. Please help me in praying that Eli has turned head down! I know that many times they don't turn until the last minute but it would be nice if he decided to turn earlier! This will just give me some comfort since we're also praying for a successful VBAC!

Luke and I played outside today. Well, he played and I walked for about 30 minutes around the driveway! Then I sat in the sun and read while he played some more! It was nice and breezy! I even got a little sun on my shoulders. I'm not a big sun worshipper (anymore) but a little color is nice. Luke on the other hand was sprayed down with SPF 50 before we went out the door! That little boy LOVES to be outside. He would stay out all day if I let him. His favorite thing to do is push his toys around, whether it be his wagon, his car, his wheel barrel, or his big wheel (he still can't reach the peddles). He just pushes them.. no rhyme or reason.. he just pushes to push, I guess! He's growing up so fast. I can't believe that in just 2 weeks he will be TWO! Wow, it really is just 2 weeks (plus one day) away! I had to check the calendar! Yesterday he was 'helping' me fold towels. I attempted to show him how to fold wash cloths and he actually folded one right but his favorite part is to help me put them away in the closet... I wonder how long that will last? I can tell that he is starting to pretend play a little. About a month ago he got a stuffed
Mickey Mouse and he sleeps with it every night. Occasionally Mickey will come out and play with him during the day. Luke loves to push (hmm.. I'm sensing a theme here) Mickey around in his wagon and today I caught him telling Mickey it was time for bed and he went and threw him (literally) in his crib. He's also started 'reading' books to himself. He always starts out by saying, "Ok" and then goes on 'telling' the story. It's so fun to watch. He loves cars and trucks too. He knows what bulldozers and dump trucks are and will point them out if we see one. Any truck with a ladder rack on top is a firetruck. Right now he has selective learning... he knows a tractor from a bulldozer but hasn't learned any colors!!! :) It will come in time though! I am amazed at how much he is learning every day!

Ok, I must confess. It's 3:35 PM and I haven't had a shower. So, if I'm going to church (and I am) without stinking, I should get a shower before Luke gets up!

Have a fantastic day!

God's Goodness and other ramblings....

God is so good. In all of His power and sovereignty, we can be sure of that... He is good. He takes life, He gives life, He heals, He even allows bad things to happen... but He is good.
R and I are testaments to His goodness toward His children. Do bad things happen? Of course. But God has been so faithful to us. He answers our prayers, even in the smallest of things. I never want to take those for granted. He provides. He is my Provider. He is my portion forever. I cannot go into specifics on how He has in the past and in the present but He has. He will not fail me and I can trust in that.

And oh how it hurts that I am not always faithful to Him. I do not deserve His goodness.

I am so thankful for His goodness and faithfulness to me.

Psalm 104:1 ~ "Bless the LORD, O my soul! O LORD my God, You are very great:
You are clothed with honor and majesty"

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Now, for some Luke and Eli news....

Here lately Luke has taken some big steps where eating is concerned. I think I've mentioned that he now eats PB sandwiches. Peanut butter may not seem like a big deal but it is to me because he doesn't eat much meat. Last night I decided to try raw carrot sticks. I cut up baby carrots into thing 'matchsticks' (which was kind of a pain) but he ate them! I gave them to him plain but when he saw me dipping mine into my dressing he had to have some too! He had some for lunch today too. Tonight for dinner we had the honeyed pork chops, which were ok (more about that on Monday), potatoes and broccoli (instead of green beans). I kind of changed up my veggies for tonight. Instead of having mashed potatoes, I just cut up potatoes & onions and tossed them in a little olive oil and salt & pepper and cooked them, covered, in the microwave. My mom does them this way sometimes and they are really good. I also steamed some broccoli, ok.. I put one of those steam fresh bags of broccoli in microwave.. same difference though, right? Anyways, I added a little butter and some lemon pepper seasoning to them. Well guess who ate all of their broccoli AND potatoes?? Luke! I can't tell you when the last time he ate broccoli was. He actually had two helpings! And he normally will not eat any kind of potato unless it's in the form of a french fry or tater tot! He wasn't all about the pork chop though. So, in just two days he has tried and eaten three things that he normally doesn't eat! (and they were all 3 healthy!)

In other Luke news, he can now identify 2 shapes: stars and circles. He will sometimes get triangle right. Actually today at lunch he was 'drawing' circles in his ranch dressing while saying 'circle'. What a smart boy! He can do almost all of his puzzles by himself and he can do his shape sorter perfectly. He is also pointing out red and orange things, but he doesn't always get them right when you ask him. It's almost like if he notices that it is orange, he will tell you.. but if you ask him, it throws him off. I try not to push this kind of stuff on him because I believe that kids learn best when playing and just during daily life.

In not so exciting news, I think he is regressing in his sleep. For the past two weeks he has cried a lot after he is put to bed. I think there have only been maybe three nights in the past two weeks where he has gone to sleep without a whimper. I confess, I have rocked him to sleep several times. I know some people don't necessarily agree with the 'cry it out' method but it really did work with Luke when he was younger. I firmly believe that a child (my child) needs to learn to sleep on their own. But when he started crying this time he had a cold so I just started rocking. Well, now that he feels better, he knows exactly what he's doing. So tonight, I rocked him for a while but I finally just had to lay down the law. Luckily, he cried for only about 5 minutes. Now he's sound asleep.

My other little guy, Eli, has been making himself known as well. His little movements are getting stronger. He also doesn't like for me to eat big meals. I guess that's good for me. It's very different than Luke though. I ate tons with Luke, but I just can't this time. I've got to start working on getting things ready for him. I don't want to wait until the last minute! I will be 21 weeks tomorrow and even though that's only a tad bit over half way, I know it will be here before I know it! I can't wait to meet this little guy!

The verdict is in...

Well, we are having a sweet baby BOY! I am thrilled!!! I had no expectations whatsoever so it really was a surprise to me! Everything looked great on the sonogram. He was measuring perfectly, there was perfect amount of fluid, perfect organs, etc! What a blessing!
And it is without a doubt a boy. R and I both saw 'it' before we were even told! He was just wiggling around in there. I made sure to drink lots of OJ before the appointment so he would have enough sugar to get him moving! When she attempted to get a face shot, he kept putting his little hands up! Finally we did get to see a little outline of his face and we even saw his mouth moving! It is just such an amazing thing! He had his feet crossed and at the moment he is breech, but at only 19 wks, 3 days, he still has plenty of time to turn!
I am so excited that Luke will have a little brother! I just know that he will be a great big brother (after he gets use to the idea of having a new person in the house!).
We have been discussing names for the past few weeks and (of course) we came up with a boy name pretty easily. Maybe that should have been a sign! Even as of last night we still couldn't decide on a girl name. I am a planner when it comes to this kind of thing so I want a name for the baby the moment we know the gender! So, his name will be Elijah Chandler, Eli for short.
I just want to add that if God chose to only give us boys for however many more children we decide to have, I'd be thrilled. A baby is a miracle and a precious gift from God, no matter what the gender! :) I could not be happier!

Psalm 139:13-16 ~ For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

Cravings....

One of the highlights of pregnancy: eating. And though I try to eat pretty good, sometimes you just gotta give in to those cravings.. I was thinking today about the different things I've wanted now, compared with Luke.
Note: I have never made R run to the store at midnight.. I think that is just ridiculous! (I've never really known anyone that has admitted to anything like that... although I did hear a story of a woman who would send her hubby occasionally to the movie theater for 'movie theater popcorn'!!)

First, with Luke:
Cranberry Juice- I drank it every morning when I was pregnant with him.
Lemons- Only in the beginning though.. I remember a few weeks after we found out I was pregnant R brought me home a bag of lemons and some pink carnations. How sweet!
Ice Cream- although I shouldn't really count this because I typically LOVE ice cream even when not pregnant
Green Olives- YUM, right out of the jar.
S'mores- This started roughly around 37 weeks and lasted until I gave birth. I made them in the microwave. When we moved last year I found a bag of large marshmallows in the back of the pantry. Memories... :)

Baby #2
Orange Juice- I drink a glass every morning.
Jalapenos/banana pepper rings- So good on a sandwich.
Blueberry bagels with cream cheese- Ok, I don't eat this every morning, although I'd love to! I limit myself.
Ice Cream- haha..

With both pregnancies the only thing I didn't want was Italian food, but only in the first trimester. The smell of parmesan cheese and garlic just made me sick. I can eat it now, I just couldn't in the beginning.

I've really been wanting to go eat a big salad at the Olive Garden. Sounds good, huh?

Life/Preggo Update and the Potty Chair

I'm sitting here... wondering why in the world I'm sitting here. There are dishes in the sink.... toys in the floor... a load of laundry that needs folding and one that needs to go in the dryer. Oh and there is a nice sprinkling of baby powder in the hallway(thank you Luke)... but that will have to be vacuumed after nap time.

I had my monthly Dr's visit yesterday. It was great minus the wait and in all honesty, I was only there 2 hours which really isn't that bad. I got to hear the heartbeat again. I actually didn't hear it the first time that the nurse did it yesterday. It was 'behind' mine and I think, because of miscommunication, that she thought I heard it. So, I just asked the Dr to do it again.. you know, to make me feel better. And when I really heard it... I did feel better! I've got to go back next week for blood work, just because there is a specific window that I need to have it done.. and that window doesn't open until the 17th. Fun for me... My next apt is April 7th and I can't wait. That will be my sonogram apt so we'll get to see (hopefully) who this little person is! It all seems to be going by so fast!

In other news Luke is growing up so fast. He will be TWO in less than three months. He is saying sooo much now. No sentences yet but he puts 2 words together all of the time. His favorites are: "Mimi home." "Daddy Wuk (work)" "ByeBye Cars" (he watches his cars movie ~AutoBeGood by Family Christian stores~ before his nap and has to tell it byebye when it's time to go nap), "Rock Baby?" (at night he loves for me to sing Rock-A-Bye Baby and this is his way of asking me to sing it again... and again.. and again!). He is also getting really good at saying "No Ma'am", which is really sweet until he started responding like:

Me: Are you ready for a bath?
Luke: No Ma'am.
Me: Let's wash our hands before dinner.
Luke: No Ma'am.
R: Luke, it's time for bed.
Luke: No Ma'am.

You get the point... and yes, he does call R "Ma'am", which I think is hilarious and cute all at the same time. I guess I should just be happy that he is being polite. One more thing that he did recently and then I must end this LONG post. He has some really great picture books that he loves to look in. In one particular book there is a potty, which he calls a 'potty chair'. Well, we had just finished reading that book and he was still looking at it. I had gone into the kitchen and was doing something at the counter and heard the little guy behind me. I turned around to see the cutest and funniest thing. He had turned that book to the potty chair page and was sitting on it! Haha!!! He definitely knows what to do with it! Maybe it's time for a potty chair!

Just wanted to share!

I felt the baby move today! I was soo excited! The past few days I've felt 'bumps' here and there but wasn't really sure if that's what I was feeling. But today I got to feel a whole series of movements! It's still very slight and not noticeable from the outside... but lucky me gets to feel it! I have been waiting on this moment! What a blessing!

With Luke, I felt him much later. I was probably closer to 18 wks when I first felt him move. But they (whoever 'they' are) say that you sometimes feel it sooner with the 2nd because you know more of what to expect. I will be 15 wks tomorrow.. so either I already knew what it would feel like or this little one is going to be a kick boxer! I'm hoping the first is true, considering I know the movements will get a lot stronger!

Thanks for sharing in my joy!

A quick update!

I'm tired!!! So, this will be quick! I had my 2nd Dr's visit today. Since I'm only 11 wks & 4 days I wasn't sure if they would try to find the heartbeat today but they did. It took her a while to find it but we did eventually hear it (for a few seconds). It was wonderful!!! R was so glad they found it because even though it is not uncommon to not be able to hear it yet, he knew that I would have been a little worried about it! And he was right! I gained 2 lbs back from the 8 I had lost. I'm sure there will come a point when I will not share my weight gain but right now I'm at negative 6 and I'm comfortable sharing the negatives!! :) Aside from some routine bloodwork that was about the extent of it. I'm just so thankful! And because of my afternoon apointment I did not get my nap... so I'm going to bed soon!

Night!

Ramblings about life!!

Happy Groundhog's Day!

Seriously, what's that all about? I have no clue.

We (Luke and I) were off to the mall this morning to have his pictures made. The lady at the Sears portrait place was like, "Oh, is it his birthday??" Um.. no... I am just a terrible mom who hasn't gotten his picture {professionally} taken since he was 10 months old and thought sometime last week that I MUST go have it done now while it is on my mind.. thanks for bringing it up though. :)

Yes, Luke had his 20 months pictures taken today.. isn't that a milestone?? 20 months? I thought so! ;)

So, anyways. I bought him a cute Valentine shirt that he wore for the first portion of his photo shoot. He looked A-Dorable! My mom and dad came.. because they are more comfortable with acting like nuts to make Luke smile than I am. So, we get there and take him back to the little room.. and what does he do?? Start to scream... big crocodile tears rolling down those sweet cheeks. Seriously, at that moment I thought.. 'We are going home with zero pictures today!' Luckily, he got more comfortable and we got some really, really cute pictures. He also sported a dressy casual pair of khaki cargo pants and a faux button down shirt with a tshirt over it.. like all the cool kids are wearing. He was too cute.

So, now I feel like a better mom... he only suffered minor trauma from the photo session. So, it's ok.

This evening while we were getting ready for our fancy gourmet supper (ha- joking), R backed up into Luke and he (Luke) fell. I was standing at the sink washing Luke a pear and saw Luke hit the floor... I knew it was going to be bad. Luke had been playing his harmonica (something his daddy taught him) so he had his hand up at his mouth. He caught himself with his hand but his little mouth hit his hand as his hand hit the floor. R quickly picked him up and I said without looking, 'There's blood.' And there was. It's amazing how much blood can come out of a mouth that little! He never would let me look at it but it did quit bleeding after a few minutes (and gobbling down his pear and chicken nuggets). He does have a puffy upper lip though. I think daddy felt worse than he did.

Thankfully the pictures were this morning!!

So, as far as the pregnancy is going... I'm now offically 10 wks (as of Friday). Thankfully the first trimester will be over soon! I'm praying that this awful taste in my mouth goes away as well as this fatigue! I've been eating ok but it's just so hard to eat when everything I eat leaves such a nasty aftertaste. My poor family has been suffering too. I normally LOVE to cook but I have had no desire what-so-ever to cook. Actually, Thursday when I was getting ready to go to the grocery store.. the thought almost made me gag! I mean I really have to not think about food.. It's so weird. So, needless to say we've been eating out a lot and eating quick fix meals. Hopefully things will get back to normal in a few weeks! My belly is starting to bulge already! Sooo much sooner than last time! I read somewhere that it's because all of my muscles have already been stretched out previously. Lovely.

On a serious note, I am so thankful for this sweet baby! Every baby is a blessing sent straight from God. I was thinking last night just about how amazing God is for allowing me to carry a child.. Robby and I have been given the opportunity to be a part of a miracle (for the 2nd time) and that just blows my mind! Not only does God, in all of His goodness, mercy and grace, give us the opportunity to know Him and have eternal life but He also blesses us with so many other things.. and I believe one of the greatest is being a parent. Oh, what a good God!

I hope everyone has a great Lord's Day!

My boy

Oh.. my boy is growing up! He is 19 months old!! I just feel like gabbing about how much he can do.. so humor me while I talk about him! He is now starting to put words together. When R goes off to work, Luke says byebye and then for about 15 minutes he'll say "Daddy wuk". If he starts to think about his MiMi.. he'll look up at me and say, "MiMi home?" Last night on the way home from church (yes, we live next door but hey it takes a few minutes to walk home!) R said, say byebye to the truck.. and Luke says, "Byebye tuck"... then "Byebye Niny (Lily, our dog)", "Byebye peep (jeep)"... I just can't tell you how sweet it is! When he's working really hard on something and finally gets it done, he says "Now then!"

He is also becoming very independent. If he's in his independent mood, I better not even try to help him! He pitched a fit the other day because I tried to help him put his pants on! Wow, what a mistake that was! He eventually realized that he needed help and said, "elp me!" (I'm attempting to get a please after that!). So, I was able to assist him.. all the while giving him lots of praise for doing most of it on his own!

His favorite toys have become papers he can reach on the counter, empty bottles of water, tupperware... oh and anything that he can get his hands on that he is not suppose to have!

Right now he's getting his 4 eye teeth in, all at the same time. He's been a super sport about it for the most part but he's had a runny nose for literally over a month. No medical professional can convince me that a child will not get a runny nose because of incoming baby teeth!

AND he got his first hair cut Friday!! He hasn't really had much hair since he was born (he was almost bald for the first 12 months!!) and even when it was cut, not much was actually cut off. He had some wild scraggly hair growing in the back though that really needed to be trimmed. He wasn't about to sit in the chair to have it cut though... so Mommy had to hold him! He looks like a handsome little man!

I must interject here, I started this post yesterday and today we had 3 exciting things happen that should be noted!!! Today he managed to: empty an almost full box of Cheerios in the kitchen floor, color with crayons on the kitchen linoleum, and rip 2 strips of wood off the inside of the closet door. And, as I speak, I can hear him banging on his crib with his feet... 50 minutes AFTER he was put in bed. Oh me...

Luke, Mommy is so proud of you!! I couldn't love you more at this moment, yet everyday my love seems to grow! My hugs and kisses belong to you!! :)

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Pregnancy Update:

Overall since last week I've actually felt better. I did buy some Ensure and it actually is pretty good. It pretty much taste like a melted strawberry milkshake. I think that helped me get some more calories in. I've also been trying to eat more. I've realized that no matter how small the meal is... I still feel the same way afterwards (nasty taste in my mouth/heartburn) so I might as well eat a little more and get some calories in. Last night was a rough night because I did feel really nauseous but after a good night's sleep I've felt much better today. With Luke, I never felt bad in my first trimester. I can remember maybe 2 or 3 times that I kind of felt sick but it was always a response to some food I had smelled (garlic and Parmesan cheese!) and it went away as soon as I couldn't smell the food! So, this general constant yucky feeling is very different this time around! I'm 8 wks today based on my LMP but because the baby was measuring bigger at my US, I could be considered 8 wks, 4 days. Hopefully this yuckyness will go away in just a few weeks!!